And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
. // bloglinks +
nat yong pamela
. // archives +
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Why doesn't it update?!
WHY DON'T YOU UPDATE HUH??? HUH??? HUH??!
. // prawninator | 15:49 + ~
Let's see what she got me today:
1 pair Marks and Spencer's kickflare denim jeans
1 pair black strappy heels
1 black tee shirt
1 bottle silver nail polish
1 bottle hair moisturiser
The killer was the pair of jeans. $90 after discount. (Hey, at least alteration is free) *faints* Even the shoes... $50 for that pair of shoes. *sighs* My mom just went, "You like then I buy lor..." I was shocked, I tell you, SHOCKED. My mom never really spends so much. It was scary. I mean, I didn't even ask for the stuff up on that list. She just asked if I liked it, I said yes, she went to find my size, and suddenly it was paid for. *shudders*
I don't think I'll ever wanna shop again.
. // prawninator | 23:34 + ~
Went to my aunt's house for Deepavali. It's like a family gathering thing. I haven't been to see my relatives in a long while, so naturally all of them kept saying the same things like, "Hey! Long time no see ah! How are you? Still studying?" You know, stuff like that.
Because earlier on I had Seoul Garden with Sam and Nic, I couldn't eat much. Instead, went upstairs with Kai and Yiling to watch MTV. In the end, all three of us fell asleep and at 11pm, mom told us to go downstairs and head on home.
At 2am later on, Sheng came down to my flat to collect the fscking lightbox. Yes, two o'clock in the fscking morning. *grmbls* Passed him a stack of animation paper and a blue mechanical pencil with the blue refills. He kept going on and on and on about the peg bar, in that funny accent of his. Hahaha. That sucker... say got so much animation to do.. still wanna play game. *mttrs*
Slept most of the day, only woke up at 1530 to find out that my parents and Kai were not at home, so I had the whole house to myself. Found myself a packet of chicken rice and helped myself to five guo tie in dark vinegar and ginger. Yummy.
Later on, spent the evening watching Lagaan. It's a very interesting story, really. Would love to watch it again sometime. Apparently it was an Academy Award Nominee for the Best Foreign Film award, but definitely, it was a close miss. Perhaps it was because the show was the white's humiliation in a humble indian village, I do not know. Honestly, I can't be bothered either.
No money, no nothing.
. // prawninator | 16:14 + ~
After that I went down to Forum's Toys 'R Us to check out what they had on sale for Halloween. Found looooads of Nimbus 2000's and tridents as well as axes, and some plastic cleavers, and a WIIIIDDEEE selection of "Scream" and "Scary Movie" creepy-fella masks. Many, many Jack-O-Lantern and cauldron candy carriers, scrunchies, costumes, commercialised spiderwebs. Everything! I even found a large pair of wings. It was a lovely blue and gold color. Wow! But I couldn't find what I was looking for, and found myself sifting through the toys and stuff. I found an electric drumset, finger paints and XBox games. Heh. Certainly missed those days when I was younger. They still have that Lego statue of Geoff the Giraffe up at the front of the store!
Went on to meet Sam, Shan and Cordy. Yes, the newest addition to our Heartbreak Club, otherwise known as the She-Woman-Man-Hater Club. Cordelia had called me earlier saying that she was gonna cry... so I told her to meet with Samantha in case I was late (I had to fix an appt with the dentist). So the four of us went clothes shopping. Well, I did the carrying and they did the shopping. After all, there's usually nothing my size. Then Cordelia had to go meet the source of her sorrow leaving the three of us to... well... shop some more.
And take some pictures too...
Samantha and Shannen both found skirts of the same design but different colours... Hehe. Not bad, quite nice, really. As for me, I found myself a spiked cuff. Whee. About the same one that Guthrie used to have. Liked it then, like it now. Got it. Haha. We then went around looking for a nice present for Jason, and got him a tee. After that we went over to Heeren. Why we were there, I can't quite recall.
Took a bus to Plaza Singapura where Shannen tested out some drumsticks and I tested out some guitars. Found out that the cheapest one costs $179. Phew. But the $199 one sounded much better than the $179 one. Hmm. Oh well, need to find a small one... something like the classical that I have with Samantha. Heh.
Had dinner at PS then came home... Called Sheng again and again and again to pass him the lightbox but nooooooooo his phone is fscking shut off. Dammit man, he'd better drag his lazy butt down to my place to carry it up because it ain't too light! *mutters*
Next time I'll just ring the doorbell.
. // prawninator | 23:35 + ~
It wasn't all that bad, actually. Apart from the teasing about Sean (get this, even when he isn't there!), the gaming was okay. As per usual, my candy jar emptied itself very quickly. Heh. This time I bought six packets and all had been consumed. Hehehe.
After dinner at Ameen, we (Hady, Sheng, Sulaiman and me) walked to the 74 bus stop. There, I heard someone call out "Eh, PRAWN!" I spun around to see Edmund grinning at me. Hehe. Didn't think I'd catch him there really. Boarded the bus and talked for a while more with Sulaiman and Sheng (Hady took another bus)
When Sheng and I got to our block, Mr. and Mrs. Wong (and their three kids Rhoda, Joel and Amos) were at the lift-landing. Honestly, it was scary. You see, when all of us got into the lift, Mrs. Wong had to ask, "All going to the fourth floor, right?" I freaked a little and said, "Uh, nope." and pressed the 8 button quickly. I could have sworn my heart went up to my throat when Mrs. Wong (they live on the same floor as me) asked me if Sheng was my boyfriend when we got off the lift. I could have died of embarrassment right there and then. I just said no, of course. What else am I supposed to say?!
Anyway, added some new adlinks just below my chatterbox. They're all in grayscale to... well... fit the mood of the blog. Heh, but the online comics are just so fun, I couldn't let you go without 'em! Well to me anyway.
And yes, girls do play video games.
. // prawninator | 16:17 + ~
The day started with me getting whacked on the butt by my mom telling me to wake up early and everything, so I moped around for a while, took a shower then went to Bugis to meet Samantha, Jason and Linus. Supposed to meet Wenting and Jane too but they just got up at the agreed time, so they didn't join us.
Went over to NetGames where Jason, Linus, Samantha and I played CS. Honestly, Jason's scary with a Carbine. So is Samantha, if she does what Jason tells her to. Hehehe. In the end some kids joined, and Jason went on to play Generals, and Linus joined him. I played a bit of UT2K3 and Sam played some WC3. I then won the match with 50 kills to 8 deaths and went on to play D2x. When you get bored, that's what you do. Heh. Oh yeah, and I met Keith (aka Redsteel) there too, after so long! He's grown alot taller though his voice is still the same since last year. I remember teasing him saying that he's 15 but yet his voice has not yet broken. Hehehe.
Headed down to Marina where we met up with Song, Cordelia, Tommy, Michelle, Elijah, Rachel and Jeremiah. Took the bus down to our destination and settled down to 2 tables. Sam and Linus went straight to collect the prawns (which were still jumping in the tub) and crabs (which were definitely still alive, and DEFINITELY kicking). I went about collecting the money for the meal and collecting the plates and stuff when I paid up.
Then Wenting and Jane arrived. Rudi came slightly later, with Jamal next. Then came the task of cooking your own food. Turns out that both Elijah and Jason were afraid of the live prawns, so we let them die first before taking them out of the plastic tub to cook.
Once in a while, some of us would escape into the arcade for the air-conditioning, before coming back out to cook and eat some more. Drinks? Whoa, we definitely had alot. A WHOLE LOT. I don't even remember drinking so much. Anyway, after an eventful dinner (with a cricket landing on Jane's plate and Elijah trying to burn his pork and some) we camped out at the arcade for a while where I played Para para (don't laugh dammit) and got supportive (or teasing, I couldn't really see) cheers from my classmates. It's embarrassing, I tell you. And then Cordy asked me to play one more round, so I did. I'm tired out, I tell ya. My legs are giving way soon.
After that we took the train down to City Hall where we split up into two groups, the going-home group and the staying-out group. Linus, Jason, Elijah, Cordelia, Rudi, Samantha and I made up the group that walked from City Hall to Marina to purchase drinks and off to under Benjamin Sheares bridge where we sat and talked for a while before moving closer to the Esplanade. Talked alot of crap. Heh.
Then it was time to go home. Linus has a job interview in the afternoon, so he and Elijah shared a cab, Rudi and Cordelia to another, with Jason, Samantha and I in the last. Reached home five minutes to 2am. Heh. Mom was still awake when I got home, and so was Kai. He was using the computer. Hehe.
I'm tired out after today.
But it was definitely fun.
. // prawninator | 04:10 + ~
Is just burying my head under the covers
In the warm comfort of my bed
For whoever cares how long
I just want to close my eyes to the world...
And weep, where no one can hear me...
Nor see me...
I'm such a bitch.
Don't know about now but at least, I was.
. // prawninator | 20:08 + ~
I reached Holland Village just before he did, and then I caught sight of him. The first thing I thought of when I saw him was, "What the fsck?!" He had lost SO MUCH WEIGHT! And his muscles are extremely well toned now. Kinda like Daniel, actually. But he was still the fair-skinned geek (in a good way! Really!) I had known a long time ago.
He treated me to dinner at NYDC and we talked about everything that had happened in the two years we didn't meet, from our old friends to what we're doing presently. He's in the army, by the way. After dinner he treated me (again) to a milkshake at Coffee Club (because I can't take caffeinated beverages) where we continued talking, about past relationships and heartbreaks and everything else, and the benefits of singlehood. I felt bad that he was paying for everything, being an old friend and everything. Heh.
But it was all good, we managed to catch up quite a bit. Next one up, Lin Wei. Hehehehe. Must give her a call sometime. Too bad she's still in Australia. *sighs*
And I'm sick.
. // prawninator | 23:28 + ~
Fuck you asshole! Yeah, bite me
Why don't you like me?
You think I'm ugly don't you?
No, you think I'm ugly!!!
Get the fuck away from me, don't touch me!!!!
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU!!
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU...
How the fuck could you do this to me?
HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!!
I'm cracking up.
I'm an emotional pile of shit.
. // prawninator | 13:31 + ~
Monday. Terrible day.
Michael's grandfather passed away at 1634 on Monday. Nick left Samantha. My mother was in an extremely bad mood. But I guess the worst off was Samantha. She was a wreck when she called me up at 2+, and I decided to accompany her for the night.
She took a cab down to my place, and we both walked from my place (Dover) to Somerset, talking along the way, with me trying my best to cheer her up. Honestly, I'd rather she get out of the house instead of sitting in her bed or something and thinking. We stopped at almost every 7-11 along the way, getting water at one, stopping and sitting down once in a while. I've never been to town for free, honestly. And I've never seen it so empty. It's actually quite pretty.
We reached Somerset at about 5+, where we stopped and sat and waited for the first train to arrive. Talked for a while more, and we kinda mentioned how much we missed my exes, and come to think of it, I do miss him... and Remy too, sometimes. Guys can be jerks sometimes... but still we girls are so devoted to them, it's annoying, really.
Had my presentation today along with Swensen. But I had left my laptop battery at home! Thank goodness I brought the charger. Since it was just the two of us, we presented straight from the laptop, in a sort of discussion more than a presentation. But it was enriching, really. Ghee Ka didn't wear her scarf today. Heh. She usually does. And she was late too! She's usually never late! :
Went to the wake afterwards. Found out that Mike's younger sister Michelle is Remy's new girlfriend. *sighs* I was wondering when they'll ever tell me. It's almost as though they are hiding it from me for some reason, but I'm happy for him and her, and since I know her already, we didn't really have any problem talking. Hehehe. Apparently even their parents know about each other, and so I guess it's easier for them. Remy even told me that his mother and Michelle gang up against him. Well... Remy's mother never liked me anyway. Doesn't matter anymore.
Mandy and Mathew FINALLY asked for my name today. Hahaha. After knowing me so long, after seeing me so many times, today they ask me. Then Mike came and said, "Just call her prawn lah." Then we all laughed. Hehehe. Helped to fold the paper taels before heading home...
And there was my laptop battery on my desk.
. // prawninator | 22:52 + ~
The cookies turned out fine. But still, I ain't gonna touch any for the rest of the year. My aunts told me they were a little too sweet though. Heh. So I used too much chocolate. *mutters* Gotta cut that down to 500g.
Anyway, was at Netgames the whole afternoon. Didn't know what else to do, where else to go. I didn't even know who to call, so I didn't call. I just camped out at Netgames. Met Mike there, but of course, he's playing his own games, occasionally asking me if I wanted to smoke. Other than that, it was me and my terminal. For about four hours, playing stupid games like Hexic and Bejeweled, and Mahjong once in a while. There wasn't anyone in NwN, and TFC lagged like hell. Played UT2K3 for a while but the server went down.
I mean, have you EVER been so bored? Lonely too.
I have friends, I don't doubt that. But... Why do I still feel so lonely? There's some kind of void there. I'm literally feeling... so alone, that the tears just come, know what I'm saying? I mean, I really don't know what to do. I don't even know what I want to do with my life, my future. Where am I? What am I doing? Who am I with? I don't know!
I just... don't know.
All I know is that... it hurts...
. // prawninator | 22:42 + ~
Here's a list of the stuff I need to get:
2kg fine granulated white/caster sugar
2kg plain white flour
1kg white chocolate chips (small)
1kg semisweet chocolate chips (small)
1 carton fresh milk
Yep, that's alot. We're not even gonna make cookies we can bake man. We'll be making about 100 no-bake cookies. Yes, drop cookies. Those you just boil and drop to cool and shit. Yeah. We'll be actually baking only one batch, my daddy's own recipe. Hehehe. And to think it took me so long to get this done. I had to check for detail, when increasing the number of servings per recipe. Tough work, I tell you.
Well, wish us all luck. Maybe they'd taste good... or maybe we'd create a total disaster. Whatever it is, I think we're gonna have fun. C'mon, face it. Three girls in a kitchen. Three insanely madcap and blur girls. Say byebye to my new $13,000 kitchen. Haha.
Will update later. For now, I need to sleep.
. // prawninator | 04:56 + ~
Patrick's about 10,500km away from here.
No words were exchanged in my dream. All he did was to look at me with his teary, blue-gray eyes and smile, wrapping his arms around me. But I never knew he could feel so... real. After all, he's... so far away. But I looked into his eyes, and somehow I knew he was right beside me where I was, right there and then. Maybe not physically, but I know he was. Those happy eyes. His long hair framing his smiling face. His beautiful, happy eyes.
Thanks for being my best friend, Patrick.
. // prawninator | 00:29 + ~
Passed him my Neverwinter discs.
I miss playing NwN... :'(
. // prawninator | 23:52 + ~
I was flipping through the papers yesterday with Sam... and we came across this picture of Edmund Chen and family... and their ten-year-old son... looked almost identical to Ewen. Only younger. Hahahaha! That was pretty weird shit. I mean, the face, the glasses, the hair even! Matched almost perfectly to Ewen! It's crazy. Or maybe I'm seeing things. Heh!
I've deleted all the past messages he sent me through SMS. Raven and Hau told me to, because that will help me forget, according to them. But why would I want to forget? We may have separated, but that doesn't mean I didn't have any happy times with him at all.
I can't forget Remy either. I remember who he is. But I have not forgotten what we were together. There were loads of fights and arguments and everything, but I forgot what we were fighting for. Instead, I remember the happy times and keep it aside, knowing that we truly were happy. And that's all I need to know. I still miss him, and Remy sometimes. But not in the sense that I desperately want them back. I don't, really.
All I need are the memories.
And their smiles.
. // prawninator | 14:53 + ~
- THIS IS -
Shannen called Samantha's name, and the both of us looked up from the newspaper we were reading and *click*. Our blur faces captured on her digicam. *sighs* Me and Sam were window shopping for a bag for my brother before we went to Lips Cafe Cineleisure to slack and study. We then called Shannen down, and it so happened she came armed and ready with her camera.
The attack of the Prawninator!
Sam and I didn't want our faces taken so...
Quick shot I took of Shannen.
The Sotong, The Prawn, and the new addition: MAMBOCRAB.
Shan's pretty ain't she? :)
Was it something I said? :|
Sam and Shan
Shan's deadly with a green pencil.
Sam punched me and it hurt. >:(
My watch, for "artistic" purposes.
Girls' day out. What can go wrong?
. // prawninator | 23:15 + ~
Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you're happy now
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased
Are you happy now?
. // prawninator | 02:00 + ~ friendster lately, so much so that the website begins to lag extremely badly. Oh well, too bad for it. I never knew that my friends could know each other from entirely different groups, and it's really freaky. Totally freaky. That was actually the only reason why I wanted to stay out of it in the first place, but now that I'm there, *shrugs* heh.
My dad got my brother an extra-long necked Hamer electric guitar, in a sleek black colour. So I get to inherit the Aria. Not too bad a deal! Now all I need is a cheap second-hand amp and my bro and I are ready to rock. I was even thinking of asking Ewen if I can borrow his bass and amp. Heh. I wanted to try bass out so much, but I never really had the chance. Maybe I'll ask him again if/when he comes online... or I'll just SMS the guy. Jason reckons he can get me a deal for a new amp, but my brother bought his for only $40. Heh!!
I've been trying to forget all about him. Yes, I have. But learning how to play the guitar isn't helping, since he's so good at it. More than once I have been tempted to ask him for lessons just so I could be near him, but I know I shouldn't. Life has to go on eh? Sheng told me to give it a while, and try to be friends again. It's not that I don't want to, but the atmosphere between the two of us is just... too awkward. But nonetheless I'll try and salvage the friendship. Just not now.
Samantha and I are planning to have a little baking session. Gonna ask Shannen if she's interested. Three girls in a kitchen! What more could go wrong? Hehehehe. My kitchen's under renovation and Samantha doesn't have an oven though. Wonder if Shannen has one we can use. *giggles*
And someone thought I'm not feminine enough! *laughs*
. // prawninator | 23:43 + ~
There was another girl from Mass Comm, Juanita present. Well... She's from the "real" Mass Comm and I'm from the "pirated" mass comm so there's a difference. Brandon and the guys, being from FSV started to make jokes about MCM and everything. Heh. As if I'm not used to ridicule. And I finally met the notorious Gerard whom Daniel always mentioned. Heh. He looks pretty small-sized for a guy, pretty much like Daniel himself. Heh.
Sean, Sheng and this other guy Rong were there too. Later on went for dinner at a food court nearby, and the crappiness never really went away. Heh. Rong even snapped a chopstick into two with a ten dollar note. Amazing. I couldn't believe it, but I think it has something to do with Brandon holding the chopstick so tight.
Went back with Sheng (he's my neighbour, remember?) and we talked about how our neighbourhood used to be, what it was like and everything, talked about our neighbours, and wondering why we had never really met before. Heh. He's nice to talk to, really. Too bad he's just a neighbour. *laughs a little*
. // prawninator | 23:50 + ~
Well... Shannen took the initiative to call me yesterday. I respect her courage for that. But erm... She kinda called me at the wrong time. I was at Remy's place, and he was a little pissed, and Mark was cranky when his school laptop dropped. As for me, I was on the brink of subconsciousness. We talked a while. She told me what really happened and I told her that I needed confirmation. So I called Melvyn, Yangfeng and even Bruce. After leaving Remy's place, I called Samantha and headed toward 24hr KPT in Teck Whye... Tried to gather as many pieces of the puzzle as possible.
Rav's gone into NS. Daniel, Raven and a friend of theirs including me had "The Last Supper" with him last night. Rav, Dan and I shared a large bowl of salted vege and tofu soup with rice. I just hope I don't get Dan's fever. Heh. Walked over to Rav's place and stayed there for an hour while he packed up his stuff, so Dan, Hau and I watched the Discovery Channel, looking at the merciless slaying of sharks, before switching over to the National Geographic channel while we watched a documentary on a female dominant tribe somewhere in China. Hau kept on commenting how "drowish" the people were and Dan mentioned how he'd never survive out there. Heehee.
So finally, Rav had to go to bed, so Dan and I left, not without taking a few of his games first. ;) Dan picked up the expansion for Generals while he passed me a copy of Homeword 2. Mafia was also returned to Dan. Hailed a cab and went home to find out that everyone has gone offline at about half-past three in the morning. Hehe. Oh well.
This morning bad news came... Shannen SMSed me late this morning to tell me that... Brandon's mother had passed on. Honestly, waking up to a message like that isn't really nice, and I was so shocked I lay in bed for a while, fumbling a reply on my mobile phone. Couldn't think of anything to say.
. // prawninator | 02:21 + ~
I feel that the whole situation is a huge misunderstanding. Yet, I don't know who to trust. Guthrie reckons I'm too trusting. Another friend of mine also advised me to be more careful when choosing my friends. I really don't wish to take sides, that's the last thing I want to do. But sometimes I feel I don't have a choice.
Like in a reply to a letter I wrote to my mom, she wrote that the only people worth trusting are your family members, and how true that is! You know, sometimes I wish I hadn't taken them so much for granted. I feel remorseful sometimes when I come home late to find my mother sleeping on the couch waiting for me to come home. And my darling brother whom I only get to see when he's not asleep and I'm at home... and my dad, the stale-joke one. Still cracks us all up. Come to think of it, I miss them.
Maybe I should stay home more often.
. // prawninator | 03:30 + ~
To whoever you are, wherever you are, I love you. I probably don't know you yet, but when I do, I'll know, and so will you. And you'll love me for who I am, as will I.|
You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.
Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.
It's just a matter of time.
. // links | misc +
- poorgamergirl auction
- email me
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- idm website
- idm forums
- halloween photos
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