And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
|
. // bloglinks +
airina
artieee
bjössi
brandon
caterina
chillicrapblog
chris (one-year-gap)
cordelia
dhalif
donald
ember
ewan
ewen
fadil
frances
giggs
guthrie
huiwen
ian
ivy
jane
jay
kenny
labbit
leck koon
leonard
linus
marcus
maria
melissa
melvin
michelle
morganth
nat ho
nat yong pamela
potatobiscuit
pris meimei
rudi
sade
samantha
sidney
siew ling
silver
sharon
stacy
terentius
travis
tom
wenting
zhen ru
. // archives +
02/01/2002 - 03/01/2002
03/01/2002 - 04/01/2002
04/01/2002 - 05/01/2002
05/01/2002 - 06/01/2002
06/01/2002 - 07/01/2002
07/01/2002 - 08/01/2002
08/01/2002 - 09/01/2002
10/01/2002 - 11/01/2002
11/01/2002 - 12/01/2002
12/01/2002 - 01/01/2003
02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003
03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003
04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003
05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003
06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
goodnight.
. // prawninator | 23:11 + ~ Yay, I'm back home.
I'm tired, I have a headache and a 1.3k word essay to complete within the next 12 hours (without sleep) or 4 hours (with sleep). I'm so damn dead, dammit. Maybe I should go to a nearby polyclinic to "buy" an MC. No, seriously.
Oh no wait, I'm fine.
I just dug out one of my old assignments and I'm gonna use that, with a few minor tweaks here and there. Mwahahaha. I'm soooooo clever. No, wait. I'm just lazy. And I'm tired outta my skull. I had to lug a huge keyboard all the way to Maxwell Road where Jireh, Joshua, Chris and Peter were. We were supposed to have a band practice today, you see. And we still haven't come up with a band name yet. Any suggestions?
Sad thing is, Peter's girlfriend just broke up with him. Today. Meh. Can relationships EVER last any longer nowadays? I mean, seriously. Arguing over every little thing. It's no point. Besides, it -could- be your own fault. But I suppose it's human nature to place the blame on someone other than yourself. I do it sometimes, I admit. I point at Kai and go, "He did it! Not me!" Haha. But it saddens me. A relationship isn't based on love anymore. It's based on stability, status, and in some cases, responsibility.
Anyway, practice was fun today. We did "The Reason", and instead of just Peter (vocalist) doing the song, all of us including Chris were singing our lungs out. I could understand that Peter was almost crying by the end of the first time practicing the song. Too bad Kai wasn't there. Crimson Tide is almost complete. I just need to find a keyboard stand, but I used an ironing board as a substitute first. Mwahaha. It's not so bad. Household stuff, free of charge, and functions just as well albeit it doesn't look so good.
My fingers and wrists are tired from playing so much. It's rather strange for me, because I'm the oldest in the group, the boys being at least two years younger than me, and they look at me like a... big sister, or even a mother-figure and I goddamn hope not. Mmpf.
So yeah.
I'm tired.
And since my assignment is complete, goodnight.
. // prawninator | 21:43 + ~ I'm trying to think of a nice drow name to use. Ever since I've gotten the expansion packs for Neverwinter Nights I've been playing (quite literally) every waking moment. My mother's complaining, my dad's nagging, and my brother's hitting me on the head with a pillow because he wants to use the computer.
But nooooo..
Those tricksy wants my preciousssss...
Well so anyway, Valentine's day is over, I'm happy, everybody's happy, la la la. Well.. maybe NOT everyone, but I'm in no particular position to comment on anything. Some good news though. Just last week Chris (band's drummer) managed to obtain a Casio music keyboard from his aunt, and now, [insert evil laughter] it's in MY HANDS. YES! So I'm no longer a fill-in guitarist/vocalist but a KEYBOARDIST! Yay!
I was bored after the afternoon class yesterday, so after having a coffee with some of my classmates I headed down to Tanjong Pagar, to meet some of the guys. Supposed to go to church for a youth service practice. Jireh, Joshua and Chris arrived, so I went in with them. Played a while, sang a while, and it turns out that their vocalist, Shaun, is someone I've known for a quite a while in #fsv2 but never met, until Joshua mentioned that he was from FSV.
This is how the conversation went.
Perlin: Ooh, FSV! So do you know a certain guy called Brandon?
Shaun: Brandon? Yeah I know him.
Perlin: Dan?
Shaun: Oh Dan! Yeah he's got a fetish for guys with big tits.
Perlin: *laughs* Which means you must know Man!
Shaun: Wait, how you know all of them?
Perlin: Coz they're my gamer buddies.
Shaun: Waaaaait... what's your nickname?
Perlin: EvilPrawn..... why..?
Shaun: Aiyah, so YOU are Prawn! I'm Cow lah, from IRC!
Boom, I knew who he was.
Damn all this coincidental shit. I remember the first time I met Sheng. Also somewhere along the same lines, but freakier. Can't help but remember. Hahaha, twenty years living in the same apartment block, but not knowing each other until one day we game together, then find out we had been living there for god-knows-how-long. Hahaha.
Freaky, freaky.
Damn FSV and coincidence.
. // prawninator | 14:03 + ~ Happy Valentine's Day.
I know it's been a week since I last posted. I just didn't know what to post, really. It's going to be yet another lonely Valentine's Day. It's been the same every single fucking year. But I can't be bothered anymore, really... It's overrated, overhyped, overcommercialised that love doesn't even have a meaning anymore.
But in order to keep myself from inadvertedly smashing up a person selling roses at exorbitant prices along the road, I'll be staying home. Samantha and Shannen both asked me out, but I'm not sure if I want to get out of the house in the first place. I just hate Valentine's Day.
For about... 13 years I didn't really mind being alone. At 14, the person I was to watch a performance with played me out, and my classmate's boyfriend (then) bought me a rose out of pity. When I was 15, I was stood up, and made to wait over six hours for someone who never showed up, and never contacted me again. At 16, I was alone, and my cousin gave me one rose out of her entire bouquet to me, also out of pity. When I was 17, I spent it drinking my liver away. At 18, I couldn't remember. At 19, it was spent in tears, and now that I'm 20, I'm alone again. I wasn't supposed to be, mind you. I was supposed to have a jamming session but noooo. They're all not free, they all have dates, and I'm only told at the last minute.
Fuckit.
No seriously, you can stuff all that Valentine shit up my fucking ass and I won't even complain. I hate this season. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.
Please. If you're gonna give me a rose or anything out of pity, save it. I've had enough of pity. I've had enough of all this Valentine shit. I've had enough of all those PDA's (Public Displays of Affection)... and I hate it when I see people walk along the road, arm in arm with their lovers, gifts in pink wrapping or whatnot in their other arm, and I look down at mine and see nothing.
*slaps herself*
There's more to love than just flowers.
It's not easy having a long-distance relationship. You tend to wish that person was here and all, and then you cry and mope and be all depressed about it. You miss the person so much the pain is almost unbearable. All you want is for him to just wrap his arms around you and tell you that everything is gonna be all right, but you know the person can't, so much so that your heart often sways to someone who can really be there for you.
But I'm just thankful for PJ.
I'm not a perfect personHappy Valentine's Day.
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you- Hoobastank, The Reason
. // prawninator | 02:55 + ~ I was talking to Patrick on the phone... And I made him cry. Right now, I can't even remember why. But I guess I only kinda lashed out because he's becoming more and more like Liang, self-confidence at an all time low and stuff, and taking it out on himself, saying that he can't do this and he can't do that... and I snapped...
Then he told me that he only wanted to find a job... so that he can at least come here on a short vacation, just to see me. I am touched, really... But I did tell him that he would have better use of his money (eg. Education) than splurging it on a short trip. I cried. Because I didn't want him to look down on himself and so on... It hurt, it really did, to see (or hear) him say those things about himself... And when he started to cry, I swear even the people in Siberia can hear my heart break...
Then he started playing this song by Brian May...
I'm just the pieces of the man I used to be
Too many bitter tears are raining down on me
I'm far away from home
And I've been facing this alone
For much too long
I feel like no-one ever told the truth to me
About growing up and what a struggle it would be
In my tangled state of mind
I've been looking back to find
Where I went wrong
Too much love will kill you
If you can't make up your mind
Torn between the lover
And the love you leave behind
You're headed for disaster
'cos you never read the signs
Too much love will kill you
Every time
I'm just the shadow of the man I used to be
And it seems like there's no way out of this for me
I used to bring you sunshine
Now all I ever do
Is bring you down
How would it be if you were standing in my shoes
Can't you see that it's impossible to choose
No there's no making sense of it
Every way I go
I'm bound to lose
Too much love will kill you
Just as sure as none at all
It'll drain the power that's in you
Make you plead and scream and crawl
And the pain will make you crazy
You're the victim of your crime
Too much love will kill you
Every time
Too much love will kill you
It'll make your life a lie
Yes, too much love will kill you
And you won't understand why
You'd give your life, you'd sell your soul
But here it comes again
Too much love will kill you
In the end...
In the end.
And then we both started crying even more.
*sighs*
Until he played something funny.
Like that Lumberjack song by Monty Python.
Or something. Can't remember.
*sighs*
. // prawninator | 01:05 + ~
#9370D8 |
Your dominant hues are blue and magenta. You're the one who goes to all the parties but doesn't quite fit in at every one... you know what you want, but are afraid of what the world might think of it. You're a little different and that's okay with them, and if you're smart it's okay with you too. Your saturation level is lower than average - You don't stress out over things and don't understand people who do. Finishing projects may sometimes be a challenge, but you schedule time as you see fit and the important things all happen in the end, even if not everyone sees your grand master plan. Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything. |
. // prawninator | 12:26 + ~ Gawd I feel so girly with this damned-to-hell colour scheme. Thank goodness February is the shortest month of the entire year. Oh crap, that kinda reminds me. I need to re-do October. Supposed to be Halloween themed, but ended up doing something else. GAH. Nevermind, I'll think about that later when my wrist heals.
I twisted my wrist after my mom pissed me off bad by messing up my already tornado-hit room. My brother told me that she was thrashing up my room. Great. He then told me that she took down everything from my shelves and dumped them on the floor. Bran and Man witnessed my first outburst for the day yesterday. I threw my phone hard against a parapet wall in Bugis, and they had helped me pick up the pieces that had broken. My LCD was screwed, and I was even more pissed.
After gaming with Bran, Man, Chua, Ash and Macross at NetGames Shaw Towers, Bran, Man and I headed for Orchard where we met up with Anand and Hady. Heh. Then went home. Man gave me a hug before I left. So sweet. Haha. But don't get the wrong idea, my heart's already occupied. Took the bus home, and met Sean on the second floor of the double decker. Talked to him a while and then he had to alight. (By now you must be wondering why I'm speeding through this. You'll find out.)
When I got home later that evening, my parents and bro were at a friend's house. Then I stepped into my room to check the extent of damage she had inflicted earlier in the day while I was out. And I was fuming. I sat down and turned on the fan and directed the path of air to myself to cool down and find out where to start to clear up, and then I heard a funny whirring sound and then *vreeeeeeee* the cover flew off the fan and I ducked just in time to switch the fan off or I might've been killed. Was in a pretty bad mood with my room and the attempt on my life and I just punched my door, cupboard, desk and the wall. That's how I got my hand into this shape. Gah.
Ah well.
All's fine now.
I think.
. // prawninator | 22:14 + ~
Yay, sorry for the late post, but the new color scheme is out. Hope it works out. It's the first time I'm actually using pink. Usually I stick to purple, black and uh... white. Gah. Well... cross your fingers for me!
*laughs*
. // prawninator | 21:25 + ~
You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.
Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.
It's just a matter of time.
. // links | misc +
- poorgamergirl auction
- email me
- [shop] wear your dice
- [shop] the poor gamer girl
- idm website
- idm forums
- halloween photos
The Poor Gamer Girl Fund
:D
We could use any help we can get, but you are not obliged to.
:)
