Zhou Pei Lin

And I find it kinda funny

I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had

Yin Yang

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leck koon
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Monday, May 31, 2004

I can't change my design because my bloody computer has bloody melted. So I'll probably be reverting back to an old design and stuff. Ah well. Nevermind, I'll worry about that later, yes? Hahaha.

I watched Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind today. It was great. I mean, it was thought invoking, and really made me think about my past relationships. Many "what ifs" came into my head. I'm not gonna divulge any details... but it really made me think. How much he actually meant to me. How much losing him felt. How much losing the memory of him might feel. How much... I love him.

But it was alright. I know how much he means to me and that won't change. Only our "status" is just different now. I still love him. He knows that. And he still loves me. I know that. But we're moving on. And that's good.

Anyhow, gonna go drinking later. Heh.

I'm bored, you see.


. // prawninator | 23:39 + ~

Sunday, May 30, 2004

If you can't see the flash movie, click here.

. // prawninator | 14:39 + ~

Thursday, May 27, 2004

I'm still waiting for the X-Box and stuff, Dad.

. // prawninator | 10:49 + ~

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Male Chauvinist Pig:
Sayings that will earn you the couch

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.


Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.


Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.


How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."


How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.


Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.


If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.


What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.


I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.


Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.


Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.


Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.


In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.



. // prawninator | 20:54 + ~

Tuesday, May 25, 2004


Is real. It might serve as a reminder that you're still alive... but it's also something that gets you thinking why you even choose to remain. Pain is one of the reasons why people try to kill themselves; they want to end the pain.


Come with the pain, the overwhelming sadness or anxiety that you might experience at least once in your entire lifetime. The physical proof of what you feel in your heart wells in your eyes and pour down your cheeks.

I experienced both pain and tears in extreme levels last night while talking to Patrick, the first time we spoke on the phone after so long... It was, I admit, nice to hear his voice again... But neither one of us are taking the separation any better than the other. It tore me apart when I heard Patrick cry.

I still love him.

And it hurts.

But I know that the dreams of us together would never come true, and I've learned to accept that, no matter how painful it might be. I still love him. I always have, and I always will. What we had was special, very special, and I'll cherish it forever.

Ik hou van jou
Tha gradh agam ort
Ég elska ?ig
Taim i' ngra leat
Jag älskar dig
Rwy'n dy garu di
Ch'an Rak Khun
Jeg er glad i deg


. // prawninator | 12:42 + ~

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results
Sociability ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Aggressiveness ||||||||||||||| 50%
Assertiveness |||||||||||| 38%
Activity Level |||||||||||| 38%
Excitement-Seeking |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Enthusiasm ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Extroversion |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Trust |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Morality ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Altruism ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Cooperation |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Modesty ||||||||||||||| 46%
Sympathy |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
Friendliness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Confidence |||||||||||| 34%
Neatness ||||||||| 22%
Dutifulness |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Achievement ||||||||||||||| 42%
Self-Discipline |||||||||||| 34%
Cautiousness ||||||||| 30%
Orderliness |||||||||||| 36%
Anxiety |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Volatility ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Depression |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Self-Consciousness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Impulsiveness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Vulnerability |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Emotional Stability ||||||||| 26%
Imagination |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Artistic Interests |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Introspection ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Adventurousness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Intellect |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Liberalism |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Openmindedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Heh... I'm soooo emotionally unstable. *giggles*
Ah well... I guess that's true anyhow.
And yep, I was right. I'm too trusting. 90%!!

. // prawninator | 09:33 + ~

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Okay, I was bored...
And this is the hottest picture of me yet.

My GOD. I'm fat but this is...


.... As I said, nevermind.

I'm not hot.

But VOTE anyway.

. // prawninator | 14:06 + ~

Thursday, May 13, 2004

This is freaky, really freaky. And sick too. Gave me queasy feelings in my stomach. I don't know how people can use violence as entertainment. I mean, wrestling is okay. But watching someone get tortured and killed? No way.

My friend downloaded a movie of a prisoner getting beheaded. Mind you, it's not the conventional beheading. A group of about five had a bound prisoner kneeling at their feet and then when one guy with a knife bent down to his neck, I knew it wasn't gonna be pretty. He started sawing at his neck, slowly.. You can see the guy's mouth open in a silent scream, even though his head was already half-detached from his neck.. by the time his head was pulled back away from the neck was slit and the flesh came away, I had a lump in my throat.

I know I'm weak and stuff. But this was really sick and it's all playing in my head over and over again. I'm seriously feeling the need to throw up. Jeremiah was saying that I shouldn't have watched it if I was so weak.

Oh man. I'm feeling sick typing this even. Reminded me of a nightmare I had just two nights ago. I was in this theater scene-like place, where series of tortures and brutal killings were taking place. People all around me were cheering... Then I saw five horses on the stage for some reason. Each horse had a rope tied to a woman's arms, legs and neck... with a crack of a whip, they neighed and ran off in five different directions, the woman's screams ending abruptly when her head was pulled away from her neck. Then another man was stuck in the Iron Maiden, a standing sarcophagus with iron spikes sticking from the back and in the door. I... can't forget the screams...

That's it. I'm going to go throw up now. Eurgh.

. // prawninator | 13:36 + ~

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Stabbing Westward - Torn Apart

I know I should have told you
You were so afraid I'd leave
And now there's nothing left to say
Well nothing that you'd believe
I never meant to hurt you
With the things I couldn't say
I promised you tomorrow
While denying you today

These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart

A darkness grows inside me
In fading shades of gray
All the colors of the world
Are slowly sucked away
I'm sinking ever deeper
To a place that's cold and black
You can't believe you've lost me
And I'm never coming back

These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
Torn my world apart

Soon the night will take me
And save me from my pain
Cloak me in cold darkness
And help me lose your name

These lies have torn our world apart
These lies have torn our world apart
These lies have torn our world apart
Torn my world apart
Torn my world apart
Torn my world apart...

[ Edit: I had to re-arrange the lyrics a little to be more relevant to my situation... ]

. // prawninator | 14:51 + ~

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

im really upset right now... its been hell week.. or worse. i havent cried so hard in so long... neither have i ever broken down in the train on the way to school... nor have i cried in class. it just overwhelmed me. i wish i could... laugh... again.



pat.. jon.. ik hou van je..


. // prawninator | 23:00 + ~

Firehair [- Leave me the fuck alone -] says:
fuck you


that... was the most painful thing anyone has ever said to me.


. // prawninator | 13:01 + ~

Monday, May 10, 2004

Rakastan sinua..

Rakastan... sinua..

Minä rakastan sinua..



. // prawninator | 18:23 + ~

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Chanced by a "which level of Hell are you from" test in Guthrie's new blog. I did this test several years back and what I got was the 8th Level of Hell... This time, however....

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test



You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.


I made it into Purgatory. Interesting change. From frozen Cania to Purgatory. But still quite lustful. Heh. Ah well... Maybe it's time for a change or something? I don't know.

Right now... I'm too confused to know.

. // prawninator | 23:34 + ~

Mary Macgregor - Torn Between Two Lovers

There are times when a woman
has to say what's on her mind
eventhough she knows how much its gonna hurt

Before I say another word
let me tell you, I love you
let me hold you close and say these words
as gently as I can

There's been another man
that I've meeted and I love
But that doesn't mean I love you less
And he knows he can't posses me
and he knows he never will
Is just this empty place inside of me
That only he can fill

Torn between two lovers
feelin' like a fool
Loving both of you
Is breaking all the rules
Torn between two lovers
feelin' like a fool
Loving you both is breaking all the rules

You musn't think you failed me
just because there's someone else
you were the first real love I've ever had
And all the things I ever said
I swear they still are true
For no one else can have the part of me I gave to you

Torn between two lovers
feelin' like a fool
Loving both of you
Is breaking all the rules
Torn between two lovers
feelin' like a fool
Loving you both is breaking all the rules

Couldn't really blame you
if you turn and walk away
But with everything I feel inside
I'm asking you to stay

Torn between two lovers
feelin' like a fool
Loving both of you
Is breaking all the rules
Torn between two lovers
feelin' like a fool
Loving you both is breaking all the rules

I was just listening to this song...


*bangs head on keyboard*

. // prawninator | 01:47 + ~

Saturday, May 08, 2004

New picture!

This time, it's of Brandon (or Charles') character in Menzo (or Astoria). The reason why the picture can be used for both Tenn (Bran's character) or Kell (Charles' character) is because they're both horned wizards/sorcerers/mages. So yeah. This is how I drew him.

Well? How is it? Hahaha. I drew him smirking before... then decided to draw him mean. Yeah. Took me a few hours to get it right, but there we go!

. // prawninator | 10:35 + ~

Oh my god...

Ballet Shoes
Ballet shoes- beautiful, graceful, and creative, you enjoy dancing writing and music. You are often very poetic and sometimes dramatic. You keep to yourself aside from a few close friends that you can relate to.

What Kind of Shoe Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

. // prawninator | 09:12 + ~

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Shameless advertising yet again.

Date: 30 May
Venue: Planet Paradigm, Orchard Shopping Center (Dhoby Ghaut)
Price: $8 Presale (inclusive of 1 drink)
SMS 90489516 (Andrew) for presale tix

Yeah, you saw that.

. // prawninator | 23:42 + ~

Monday, May 03, 2004

Went jamming with Cynical Annihilation yesterday and I swear, my ears are still throbbing from all that drumming and loud stuff. Andrew had asked me to session for them, so I did. I'm not a very good sessionist anyhow. I'm plain average or worse. Nyargh. Anyhow, they've asked me to play with them for their May 30th gig. If I had exams then, I would have declined. Ah well, nice to have some variety anyway.

Anyway, I think Ting might like my new layout... because it's orange. Well... partially anyhow. *sighs* My stomach's been pretty bad lately. Hardly go out with Sam or Shan anymore because of school, and because Sam has hers and so does Shan. Ah well, sucks to be me.

Oh well, I have a bad tummyache so...


. // prawninator | 18:18 + ~

Saturday, May 01, 2004

In this life, I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that.

When you're a girl bear, you give birth to your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear!

. // prawninator | 22:51 + ~

To whoever you are, wherever you are, I love you. I probably don't know you yet, but when I do, I'll know, and so will you. And you'll love me for who I am, as will I.

You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.

Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.

It's just a matter of time.

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