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And I find it kinda funny I find it kinda sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had |
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He left me. After one month, seven days and twenty-one hours, he left me. "I'm not trying to break up with you, I AM breaking up with you." He told me he couldn't handle a relationship, and because of that, he regretted being with me. He told me that I was just a friend, no different from Samantha and Shannen and Nick and so on. But then he had to leave. He was over at my place, but he had to go. I couldn't let him. I just couldn't. I didn't want to lose him. I was afraid of losing him. I'm pathetic, I know.
It was a heart versus mind thing. I couldn't handle it... so after I closed the door on him I started crying... so much so I actually screamed my lungs out. Not long after, my mom got home. I started crying out to her, how I felt, what happened and who it was. She gave me the same speech she did when I left Remy, with a few twists here and there. She told me that I've done better than the last, keeping my temper in check and everything. It's over between us, him and me. No more. Just... friends. People would hate those that actually did what he did to me, but I'm not that kind of person. I don't hate him. I can't find it in my heart to hate him. It's like Eminem in his song "Kim" where he screams that he hates her... only to say that he loves her still. That's exactly how I felt. No matter what he did or didn't do, or even how much he hurt me, I loved him. Even he knew that. But he never returned it. But life has to go on. I have to stop loving him or I'll never get on with it. Perhaps it's better that this ended early. If you're reading this, however... ( you know who you are. ) I'm always here for you if you need me. -This- is for you. . // prawninator | 17:59 + ~ | |
To whoever you are, wherever you are, I love you. I probably don't know you yet, but when I do, I'll know, and so will you. And you'll love me for who I am, as will I. You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point. Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first. It's just a matter of time. . // links | misc + - poorgamergirl auction - email me - [shop] wear your dice - [shop] the poor gamer girl - idm website - idm forums - halloween photos The Poor Gamer Girl Fund :D We could use any help we can get, but you are not obliged to. :) | |