B

B

Zhou Pei Lin





And I find it kinda funny

I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had





B
Yin Yang

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Friday, December 26, 2003

Looks like my new look has everyone stunned, but the feedback is mostly positive. From black, to white. And yes, I do like purple. w00t. I need to be more happy. There's just so much doubt and unhappiness in the air, it's killing me from the inside, honestly.

Why is the mood so glum?

For crying out loud, it's Christmas!

There are about eleven more days to go until Christmas is over.

And about ten more days until my parcels reach PJ. Bah, just hope they don't smash up or something. Well, they're gone from my hands, it's all up to the Singapore Post. I don't trust them, really. Never did. I had sent out some twenty letters throughout my life, but only eight reached the people they were meant to reach. Dammit.

Anyways... A good friend of mine told me a certain situation she's in at the moment. When I heard about it, I wasn't really shocked, because I saw it coming just a while back, but I didn't want to mention anything, because I didn't feel it was my place. I partially blame myself for the entire situation, actually.

But on the other hand, it reminded me of something that happened to me a while back as well. It's not like it hurts me to think about it anymore. In fact, I was more of... sympathetic towards my friend. I don't know what that word is. But I certainly felt bad, and a certain sense of deja vu. I mean, I didn't want something like that to happen to her as well.

When I was playing the piano tonight, I couldn't help but think of my situation, and placed hers side by side with mine. It just seemed all too familiar, and I remembered the hurt I felt, the pain, they all still seemed so fresh... But then, I felt more of sadness, and pity for a someone involved than anything else. Anger over my situation had already dissipated a long time ago. It had instead been replaced with a lesson learnt and now, re-taught.

Can love really exist between two people? Honestly, I kinda gave up on love after my breakup with Ewen. I didn't think anyone could really love another person wholeheartedly. Ewen proved my theory correct, and more. That's why I have doubts about PJ... My own personal doubts, my reservations. Perhaps it's because I've been brought up that way or something, I don't know... I'm not sure I know anything anymore.

*sighs*

Why is the mood so glum?

For crying out loud, it's Christmas!

*cries out loud*

. // prawninator | 23:07 + ~

|
To whoever you are, wherever you are, I love you. I probably don't know you yet, but when I do, I'll know, and so will you. And you'll love me for who I am, as will I.

You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.

Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.

It's just a matter of time.

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