Zhou Pei Lin

And I find it kinda funny

I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had

Yin Yang

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leck koon
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Thursday, January 29, 2004

Was wondering for a while what I could be doing with my time today... And then I remembered, I owed Weixin $10. He called me to remind me just as I was getting ready to meet RG and Gretzky (#guitar), so I took a bus down to school before heading to Sim Lim Square.

Managed to buy both the expansions of RPG of the year winner Neverwinter Nights, the first one being Shadows of Undrentide and the next being Hordes of The Underdark at Sim Lim, at a rather exorbitant price, but much lower than what I had initially expected. There goes my angpow money... *sighs*

Anyway, while I was at Sim Lim, I received some rather bad news. Patrick didn't manage to get a bus to his job interview because of snow, and he had to cycle (or I presume he did) to his mom's and borrow the car. He was two hours late for the interview, and a while after I got home, he told me that the agency had called and told him that he didn't get the job. He was extremely upset, even to the point of telling us not to forget him should his internet connection get cut off. What's worse, he received a 700€ bill for insurance.


I think it's high time I find a job.

. // prawninator | 21:55 + ~

Monday, January 26, 2004

The word "January" in that picture somehow reminds me of... Well... Toothpaste. Speaking of toothpaste, I managed to find one site with the help of Rudi, an ex-classmate of mine. It's so aptly named, ToothpasteForDinner.com.

For the fans of one-line cartoons and drawings, this is it man.. It's great. No, seriously. I like many of his drawings, of which several I can relate to, as they just say so much about me and the people around me. You should check it out.

Ah anyway January's only for another few days. I'll be changing the pictures and stuff really soon, so put up with me, yeah? *laughs* So anyway, gaming with the guys tonight. Was surprisingly able to kill them alot, and surprisingly, Brandon wasn't doing as well as he should be. So after the entire gaming session did we find out the problem (the woman at the counter just refused to let us sit together) and Bran's computer was super laggy for some reason. Gah. And I thought I was doing well for once. *shrugs*

So after staring at moving pictures in a computer screen for nearly two and a half hours, I'm back at home typing this, again on a computer screen. Gee. Oh, and Rong came down too after so long! It's been a while since I've seen him, as he's been busy with work. I mean, he's gone and come back, and I've lost 15kg within that period of time. Gee.

Anyway, my eyes are kinda closing soon, and I've got school tomorrow again. *sighs* I hate Bishan sometimes. It's just... so far away. But hey, you can't do without a certificate of qualification, a thick piece of paper with the school seal and stuff, here in Singapore. Education (or at least brainwashing in my opinion) is the key to survival in this country.

I need to get out of here.


Where's my Shite in Whining Armor?!

*laughs manically*

. // prawninator | 23:14 + ~

Sunday, January 25, 2004

It -IS- rather green, duncha think? *laughs*

Stay tuned for February...

. // prawninator | 23:44 + ~

Made a set of 12 color schemes to be unveiled at the beginning of every month. Since I was late in doing this with January, it'll only be up now. As for the rest of the months like February and so on, I'll upload them at the beginning of the month, and leave them there until I want to change it again.

Since I can't find clothes to fit me, I design my own stuff to fit my blog.


. // prawninator | 23:42 + ~

Friday, January 23, 2004

I've been having weird dreams as of late. Extremely weird, where I was feeling extremely cold and lonely, as though I'd never be happy again, and then I realised why. I was dreaming of death. I was staring it straight in the face and I didn't like it at all, not one bit. The entire... experience of it all is horrific. Especially when you're trapped in pitch-darkness, no way out and no way around... Everything seems to be closing in on you. You see your family and friends crying, but there's no way you can reach out to them...

Then there's the feeling of falling... where you just... freefall down a hole or something. You can't see the walls around you, you can't see your hand one foot in front of you. You just continue falling, and once in a while, images of those you love flash before you, as though reaching out to you to pull you out, to stop you from falling, but when your hand reaches theirs, they disappear and you just continue falling into an endless pit of cold darkness. It's scary.

And when you thought you've seen someone who is nowhere near the area right in front of you or a few aisles away, it only goes to scare me more. Perhaps it's just the mental pressure, or the emotional and physical barriers, the sheer impossiblity of it all. I don't want to even start to believe that my time is running out. It just can't be, I'm only twenty and I've got so much to live for... So many to live for... So many people I want to see... hold... touch...

But the dreams.. the nightmares...
Robbing me of sleep, stealing my sanity.

Maybe that's it.
Maybe I'm losing my mind...

. // prawninator | 00:24 + ~

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Newest addition to my picture gallery.

Rather proud of this one, really. *smiles*

Click to view in gallery

Took me a while, and I almost thought I lost my touch after trying do a picture of Piro, and then a picture of Pirogoeth, and then one of Yuki. Failed at those three though. Going to try again. Oh, and I have a skirt that looks almost identical to the one Erika is wearing in that picture, only that mine is all-black. ^^

After the success with Erika, I decided to try working on Kimiko, and spent the better half of the afternoon drawing and painting her. Simple, but nice, some say. Very pure and soft aura to her.

Click to view in gallery

So watcha think?

Always room for improvement...

And please, do NOT take my pictures without permission. If you do so, you are agreeing to pay me a fee of US$100 per picture for worksmanship and an additional US$50 for effort, deemed payable immediately.

. // prawninator | 00:11 + ~

Sunday, January 18, 2004

I was right.

I didn't get to watch LoTR3 at all. Not even before it ended its run. ONE MONTH. I HAD ONE WHOLE MONTH TO WATCH THE DAMNED MOVIE. Either I had no money, or I had no time, or I had neither. That problem had kept me away from movie theatres since S.W.A.T. I hadn't watched a single movie in the theatre since, not one. I could make a whole list of the films I had wanted to watch but didn't have the means to.

Furthermore, I never liked to watch movies on my own. I find it pathetically boring, just absolutely pathetic in general. I asked my brother and he says he doesn't have the time. I understand that, he has tuition for both Chinese and Math, twice a week for each. So it's okay. I don't have to bother asking Sam or Nick because they've probably already watched it together and wouldn't want to watch the same movie again. I would have asked Shan, but I usually don't have the bloody funds to go out anyway when she's free. The guys? Forget it, they watch previews. X and the group? They have a drastically different taste in movies than I do. Except for Harry Potter, I'd guess.

That leaves my parents, and they've got work to do.

So now when I decide to watch just one movie on my own, it has ended its run. I had the money. I had the time. But I didn't get to watch the movie I wanted to watch. That I had waited an entire year, ONE WHOLE YEAR to watch. P told me that the DVD would be out soon and I could watch it then, but it's different. It's fucking different to watch a movie on the big screen rather than a tiny black box at home. Sure you have access to all amenities and food and stuff, but the experience is different.

That's why I'm so fucking pissed.

Sam and Nick have probably watched every single English movie in the theatres and when they come back they just can't seem to stop talking about it. I feel damned fucked up about it, and they well know I haven't watched anything yet, because for one, I keep on reminding them. I hate it when people talk about movies they've watched recently and stuff, making me feel so fucking left out. They'd go, "HEY! I've watched this movie and that movie last week." and I'm really tempted to go, "HEY! I haven't watched it yet, so what are you gonna do? Tell me the entire story since I probably won't be watching it anytime soon anyway?" or "I don't have the pleasure of watching movies in the theatre but rather on a television screen."

So if you've watched a movie

-ANY- movie

Feel free to leave me the fuck alone.

(give me credit, I don't whine often)

. // prawninator | 21:50 + ~

Friday, January 16, 2004

Finally managed to catch J online but when P woke up, I had to leave to meet my juniors in school, then rush off to meet Samantha at Fort Canning. She wanted to take photographs, so I agreed to accompany her.

But out of all the shots that I had taken, this...

Click here for larger image

... is my favourite.

Just look at that blue, cloudless sky. Beautiful!

Just so... beautiful...

. // prawninator | 00:52 + ~

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Went out Chinese New Year clothes shopping today with my mother. Must admit, it was a pleasant experience. Not with the retail therapy, by the way. I mean just having a day out with my mother, talking to her and just being with her for one day. She has work and I have school and my "social life".

Anyways, I managed to buy a pair of jeans (I had to get one because I dropped two sizes and my current jeans are dropping..) and a niiiiiiccccccccceeeeeeeee skirt, along with a watch and about five Forgotten Realms books. Yes, FIVE. Hehehe. I'm gonna have a great holiday. I can tell. Sent the jeans for alteration because they were too long, and went around looking for blouses that I might wear on CNY. Finally gave up.

But the freakiest thing happened. I thought I saw someone I knew, and whom I know is very far away, when I was at Dhoby Ghaut MRT station this afternoon. But I blinked, and he was gone... I know it sounds cliched, but I SWEAR I saw him! Then when I was at Marks and Spencer's trying on some clothes, I saw him outside the fitting room a few racks away, smiling at me... then someone walked between the racks and when she moved away, he was gone. GAH. The next time I saw him was when I was having tea with my mother. I instintively called out his name and then he turned, smiled at me and walked away...


This is not good.

I'm hallucinating.

. // prawninator | 23:15 + ~

Monday, January 12, 2004

So it's been a while since I've blogged. School's started, the classmates are a-okay. Not too bad, found a few people I could fit in with so I'm cool. Heh.

It's not easy, you know, taking a class that you've already sat for a year ago. And failed, mind you. It's just not easy at all. Furthermore, I have just one thing on my mind other than my studies.. Just something that someone told me, and it's been lingering around my head ever since he said it. I won't give any details, though just a couple of people know about it. Just two, I believe.

It's been flooding my thoughts, piercing my dreams (and not in a bad way, mind you) and just everything seems to relate to this something that someone said. But it scares me to a certain degree. I'm not sure how to describe it either. It's just.. scary.

But one thing's for sure.

I like butterflies. ^^

. // prawninator | 16:50 + ~

Friday, January 09, 2004

I realise what a whiner this guy is. I mean, like WHOA. I've never known any guy who complains so much and is fulfilling his... well... self-fulfilling prophecy. Gah, like I care. It's just extremely annoying to read at times.

I'll just... go learn Dutch or Gaelic or work on my digital portfolio or something else. Gah, I don't know. I'm just freaking bored. BORED BORED BORED BORED!!! And GAH!! Daniel has my nougat! Starfire gave each of us a little bag full of nougat, which I left in Daniel's care, and I forgot to take the bag back. Dang, I could've used some candy to munch on during the ride back.

Today at NetGames was great. Starfire, Dan and I went against each other in TFC, Star as soldier and Dan as spy, and me as a HWGirl. Dan and Star were on the opposite team, and I was supposed to try and infiltrate their base, get their flag and return to capture it. After playing for a while we went for Serious Sam, and I had a little game of Gunbound. Ahhh, the therepeutic wonders of gaming. Anyway while we were playing TFC, I noticed someone looking at us, and then he later recognised Star and introduced himself as BryanTimber. I mean, one of the better players in the SG TFC community! w00t!

So after that (Star treated me for that session. Yay!) we had dinner and went back home. Hated the trip home. Bah. Accelerate, brake. Accelerate, brake. Accelerate, brake. Annoying, and I wanted to break the bloody driver's neck. Anyways, I should go to bed now.

It's calling my name...


(By the way, my portfolio is THERE. Look at the error message CAREFULLY. I've already fooled a large number of poor, unobservant, innocent souls. Mwahaha. Then again most of it is under construction... but hey, I'm working on it.) ^^

. // prawninator | 03:52 + ~

Yes! FINALLY! I can SEE MY BLOG! And the other blogs I usually read, of course. Guh, I was really frustrated for almost the whole week just because I couldn't see my blog. I just wanted to know how things turned out, how things looked. Gah.

Anyway, I've gotten just a little bit of my website worked on. I'm using loads of tables (I have NO BLOODY IDEA how to use anything else, really, so set your screen resolution to 1024x768) and just monotone colors. Very... grey, really. Now, all I need is a domain name. But since I have neither credit/debit card nor PayPal, I cannot apply for one. Anyone can help me out?

Ah well. PJ have both received my gifts intact. That was good news, really. I had thought they would really break on the way there and I had gotten so scared one day I wanted to call the international post or whatever it is that sends those parcels. Gah. Next time I'll print across the box in large red and bold letters, "FRAGILE".

But it's nice to be able to blog again. ^^

. // prawninator | 00:38 + ~

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

From: "Blogger Support" <blogger@trakken.com>
To: "prawninator - (530835,3361317)" <---@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: [#27512] Redirection
Date: Mon, 05 Jan 2004 09:45:04 -0800

Hi there-

Blogger and Blog*Spot have been experiencing some DNS turbulence for the past few days due to an unexpected network reconfiguration; more details are on status.blogger.com:

[ Details ]

If the Blogger & Blog*Spot sites are still unreachable/being troublesome after Wednesday, January 7th, please reply to this message with a detailed description of the issue and we'll see what we can figure out.

Thanks for your patience,
Blogger Support

. // prawninator | 23:02 + ~

Sunday, January 04, 2004

Man, I'm laughing my arse off.

Channel News Asia did a review of the most interesting things that happened during 2003, on New Year's Eve, and it wasn't until recently when I decided to look up on it. One of the snippets was about the annual "Foot In Mouth Award". The winner's little snippet absolutely cracked me up. Really, one of those CLASSICS OF SPEECH!

This year, the winner is Donald Rumsfeld with...

Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know.

As some may know, the British Plain English Campaign annually hands out the prize for the most nonsensical remark made by a public figure. Rumsfeld was up against stiff competition, though. One of whom, really surprised me.

Actor turned California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, among others, such as Chris Patten. Schwarzenegger weighed in on the gay marriage debate with the comment "I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."

Truly classics of speech! Amazing.

Another gem by Rumsfeld? You got it.

I believe what I said yesterday. I don't know what I said, but I know what I think... and I assume it's what I said.

. // prawninator | 22:20 + ~

Weird... Really.

My blog address has been redirected to new.blogger.com for some reason...

Really... Weird.

. // prawninator | 00:58 + ~

Saturday, January 03, 2004

Went phototaking and jalan-jalan-ing with Nick and Samantha this evening. Took a couple of photos, but they're rather small, because I have limited webspace and limited bandwidth. (Hey, I got it for free so I ain't complaining.)

You can download the zip files from the following links. My website isn't fully loaded yet, so don't bother visiting it. It'll take a while for me to add links there too. I'll work on it after I've completed my diploma.

Zip 1
Zip 2

The pictures in the second zip file weren't taken by me, but by Nick. Just though he should get the credit and stuff. Even if it might be hosted on an insignificant site about an insignificant person etc.


. // prawninator | 03:59 + ~

Thursday, January 01, 2004

Wonder what I did on New Year's Eve?


That's right, nothing.

Okay, I was watching some movies on VCD... re-watching some TFC movies I downloaded, blasting Metallica, playing the piano, other than that, nothing. Maybe a little bit of Photoshop painting, some singing-to-self. Other than that, nothing else. Boring eh? Parents and brother went to my Aunt's. I didn't want to go. I just don't really like it there. Heh.

Ah well, staying at home is okay. I mean, you have the whole house to yourself, you can scream, cry, run, dance, fart, sing, bang your head on the wall, bang your head on the door, bang your head on the piano keys, whatever you damn well want. But it's boring. It's as boring as watching paint dry.

I spent New Year's alone.

Crying, just a little.

But hey, I'm used to being alone.

It's not nice, but I'm used to it.

. // prawninator | 20:20 + ~

Hahahaha, a new picture for the new year. *laughs*

I'm using Sam's little papercrane photo (of which I've painted in Photoshop over again and again and again and ... you get the picture) for everything. From my desktop wallpaper, to what you see up there. Well... It's not really a LITTLE photo. That's a whopping THREE MILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-ONE THOUSAND, FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHTY EIGHT (3871488) PIXELS to work with, mind you. No simple task.

But the pressing question.
Like it like it like it? Mwarharhar.

I'm feeling really... bright.

I hope that's a good thing.

. // prawninator | 17:11 + ~

To whoever you are, wherever you are, I love you. I probably don't know you yet, but when I do, I'll know, and so will you. And you'll love me for who I am, as will I.

You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.

Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.

It's just a matter of time.

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Child's Play: This year, give fun :)

Penny Arcade
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