And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
|
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I know it's been a week since I last posted. I just didn't know what to post, really. It's going to be yet another lonely Valentine's Day. It's been the same every single fucking year. But I can't be bothered anymore, really... It's overrated, overhyped, overcommercialised that love doesn't even have a meaning anymore.
But in order to keep myself from inadvertedly smashing up a person selling roses at exorbitant prices along the road, I'll be staying home. Samantha and Shannen both asked me out, but I'm not sure if I want to get out of the house in the first place. I just hate Valentine's Day.
For about... 13 years I didn't really mind being alone. At 14, the person I was to watch a performance with played me out, and my classmate's boyfriend (then) bought me a rose out of pity. When I was 15, I was stood up, and made to wait over six hours for someone who never showed up, and never contacted me again. At 16, I was alone, and my cousin gave me one rose out of her entire bouquet to me, also out of pity. When I was 17, I spent it drinking my liver away. At 18, I couldn't remember. At 19, it was spent in tears, and now that I'm 20, I'm alone again. I wasn't supposed to be, mind you. I was supposed to have a jamming session but noooo. They're all not free, they all have dates, and I'm only told at the last minute.
Fuckit.
No seriously, you can stuff all that Valentine shit up my fucking ass and I won't even complain. I hate this season. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.
Please. If you're gonna give me a rose or anything out of pity, save it. I've had enough of pity. I've had enough of all this Valentine shit. I've had enough of all those PDA's (Public Displays of Affection)... and I hate it when I see people walk along the road, arm in arm with their lovers, gifts in pink wrapping or whatnot in their other arm, and I look down at mine and see nothing.
*slaps herself*
There's more to love than just flowers.
It's not easy having a long-distance relationship. You tend to wish that person was here and all, and then you cry and mope and be all depressed about it. You miss the person so much the pain is almost unbearable. All you want is for him to just wrap his arms around you and tell you that everything is gonna be all right, but you know the person can't, so much so that your heart often sways to someone who can really be there for you.
But I'm just thankful for PJ.
I'm not a perfect personHappy Valentine's Day.
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you- Hoobastank, The Reason
. // prawninator | 02:55 + ~ |
You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.
Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.
It's just a matter of time.
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:)
