And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
|
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I'm not really good with telling you face to face, so I'll write it here, hoping you'd read it... but I don't want to confront you either. I just want to know why. I just want to clarify things. Okay? Okay.
Rachel, this is for you. From the way you look at people to the way you speak to people, I know you don't quite... "like" me for some reason. The face you give me, the tone you give me. It's as though I'm a bloody piece of rubbish.
What am I, a piece of snot-filled tissue that you detest and then discard? You know, if you don't like me so much or anything, just fucking tell me, all right? Don't give me that kinda black face. It's really hard to even communicate with you and such. I try to be nice, but all I get is that very same black face and an unintelligible grunt in reply.
So I would really like for you to tell me, instead of just... talking behind my back and stuff. I really hate things like that. I've suffered that in secondary school, and subjecting me to cold shoulders even here, is tolerable, but just barely. I just don't want history to repeat itself.
The worst thing, I don't know why you're doing this.
Maybe I'm just oversensitive, but comparing how you speak to me and how you speak to the other people around you, for example, the REST of our classmates save Jac, it really seems as though you have something against me. And something bad. It really pains me, because I treat you as a friend... but somehow or other something happened somewhere along the way and this is what happened.
Enlighten me, will you?
Slap me across the face or anything, at least that's a better response than that face and a grunt. Makes you seem more human, know what I'm saying?
Listen. One thing I hate is to lose a friend. I feel uncomfortable hanging out with you guys now, that's why you see me flitting about the cliqués. I don't click well with you, I don't click well with Jason or Jeremy, I don't click well with anyone.
Ah fuckit.
Maybe it's best I be alone.
Not as if I'm not used to it.
It's painful, yes. But if it makes everyone else happy, then so be it.
. // prawninator | 23:06 + ~ |
You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.
Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.
It's just a matter of time.
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:)
