And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
|
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Talking to your kids about drugs. It's probably one of the most difficult tasks that parents face today. But it's a job that must be done.
The best thing about the subject is that you don't have to do it well. You simply have to try. Your kids probably don't expect much from you anyway, given how badly your talk about sex with them went. But that's another matter and it's in the past. This is your chyance to gain back a shred of the trust and respect that you lost in their eyes after that debacle.
Accept rebellion
At the heart of it, drugs, alcohol, wild hairstyles, ear-splitting music and the like is teenage rebellion -- your child's way of telling you that they hate you, your lifestyle, your friends and all the values that you hold in high esteem and have worked your entire life to achieve. this is a good thing. If teenagers are to develop any sense of self-worth or superiority, there is no one better or more convenient for them to look upon with disdain and contempt than their parents.
You rebelled. They're revelling. Problem is, you did it much more intensely and recklessly than your kids would ever dream of doing it. Which is why you have no credibility discussing topics like drugs with your kids and why they hate you so, frequently laughing at you and mocking you behind your back.
But, like I said, you have to have this talk with them about drugs so you might as well just get on with it.
Don't get discouraged
When you talk to your kids about drugs, you may think nothing is getting through to them. And you're probably right. But keep at it anyway. Nag incessantly if you have to. Your parents did it to you and now's your chance to do it to your kids and to continue this disturbing family tradition.
Sometimes it can be very awkward getting started. Most parents rarely talk to their children, and when they do it's usually about something very superficial and unimportant, like what time the mall closes or missing money from a wallet or pocketbook. To get the ball rolling, try rehearsing the conversation with your spouse beforehand. Many parents have written to say that they foud this technique very helpful. Many more parents have written to say they found a tequila shot or two right before confronting the child to be even more helpful.
Start anywhere
However you get started is up to you. But what you say and how you say it is extremely important if your conversation with your child is to be effective.
"Do you know about any of your friends or classmates doing drugs?"
"What kind of drugs?"
"Do you know where they usually buy them and how much the dealer charges? How could mommy and daddy get in touch with this dealer?"
Some DO'S and DON'TS.
Most psychologists say what's most important when speaking to your child is that you speak from the heart. That's crap. Society's been listening to these eggheads for years, and things haven't gotten one bit better. And besides, if parents told their kid what's really in their hearts, the kid would run out of the room screaming and be horribly, emotionally scarred for the rest of their life. Where do you think serial killers and axe murderers come from anyway?
No, it's better if you do as little talking as possible. There's less chance to screw up and it puts more of the burden on the defensive child.
The dialogue should be open and frank, Ask your child his or her opinion about drugs. Express to your child your fears and concerns. Share with your child what it was like when you were a teen growing up, though here it's probably best if you leave out or deny any experimenting you may have had with marijuana, cocaine, hallucinogenic mushrooms, LSD and heroin.
Also, consider leaving out or denying any stories about your being expelled from school, any Grateful Dead concerts you may have gone to, waking up in a bus terminal in a pool of your own vomit, drug-related traffic accidents in which one or more of your classmates or friends were killed with you behind the wheel and that whole seven-year Colombian "vacation" you took.
Above all, be honest.
I know it isn't easy, especially with your short-term memory problem. But it's important that you try. And that your child knows how you feel.
And it's probably best if, when you speak to your child, you don't do it when you're stoned.
. // prawninator | 13:48 + ~ |
You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.
Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.
It's just a matter of time.
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