And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
|
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Why do I still feel so jealous? I shouldn't be, right? I have Chris. Truth is, he doesn't even suspect that I'm losing interest in him. Is my acting THAT good? I don't know how long I can stay with him and not feel guilty about deceiving him, like how I felt guilty for hiding him from Ryan. I'm in a dilemma.
Do I give Chris up and return to Ryan?
Do I forget about Ryan and continue on with Chris?
I love both men, though not really one more than the other. Maybe differently, but not more. But which one do I love romantically? I know I'm comfortable with Chris, but I'll only know if I'm comfortable with Ryan when I meet him.
I just need him to wait a few more weeks until I get there, until my feet touches the same ground he walks on, until my hands can finally feel him, my eyes finally meet his. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it.
*sigh*
. // prawninator | 10:48 + ~ |
You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.
Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.
It's just a matter of time.
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