And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
|
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It was a mutual, peaceful discussion, as he knows far too well where my heart lies. He was snappy and angry at first... but it all melted away into a resolution that we both know would happen sooner or later.
Throughout the conversation, I admit I was annoyed. He kept on asking questions I'm very, VERY sure he knew the answers to, and he kept on asking me to do things I really didn't want, like pull out the picture of him and I... and look at it... and then think back about how we were and stuff like that. He was fucking me psychologically.
When he asked me if I still loved Ryan.. I knew he had nipped the problem in the bud. Back in March, I remember telling Chris that I loved Ryan more than I loved him. He asked me if this was the case now. All I could say is yes. Because it's true.
He only made me promise him two things:
To open up my heart againNot easy.. at all. I don't dare to open up my heart to love or be loved again, with the exception of Ryan. I just... don't dare. I don't see how I'd be able to love someone else again so strongly.
To forgive myself
The date for my trip draws nearer.
I'm getting very, VERY nervous.
. // prawninator | 23:30 + ~ |
You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.
Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.
It's just a matter of time.
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:)
