B

B

Zhou Pei Lin





And I find it kinda funny

I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had





B
Yin Yang

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Sunday, August 07, 2005

This is it. Two years of waiting. Two years of watching him fall asleep on camera. Two years of playing video games over the Internet with each other. Two years of being in love with this guy, and then I flew out here.

One month of being together, being with him. Waking up next to him every morning, tending to his little pains, him tending to my little pains, playing games with him, footrubs, backrubs, pizza, pasta, mix-n-match instant noodles, fast food, sushi, chili, and everything else.

One month has passed.
And it's time for me to go home.

I don't want to. Just when I'm beginning to get used to him being around.. when I'm beginning to get used to being here. When I'm beginning to feel settled around him, I have to leave. Very reluctantly.

But I had already extended my trip twice, and I'll be pushing it if I wanted to extend it one more time. This time if I do, I'd have to pay, and I don't think I can afford to stay here much longer if I don't find a source of financial stability. Such as a job, which I cannot apply for as I'm not a citizen nor permanent resident.

The past few days have been terrible. It finally sunk in that I'm leaving him, after wanting to be with him for so long. I'm not leaving, leaving him. I mean, leaving the country. I mean, I don't know what I mean.

I just don't want to go home.

Now that he's with me..
I don't want to lose him..

Again..

. // prawninator | 21:53 + ~

|
To whoever you are, wherever you are, I love you. I probably don't know you yet, but when I do, I'll know, and so will you. And you'll love me for who I am, as will I.

You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.

Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.

It's just a matter of time.

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