B

B

Zhou Pei Lin





And I find it kinda funny

I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had





B
Yin Yang

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I just spent five hours waiting for Ryan to finish his movie on TV. But he probably went straight to bed, or fell asleep watching it. Haven't even played a game with him in a long time and when I had the time to.. well.. Some productive off-day I had.

Usually, I try to spend my off-days talking to him, as I hardly ever get the chance the rest of the week due to our clashing schedules and the fact that we live so far apart. But like I've mentioned before, I'm working like this, so I can close up the gap between us and I can finally be with him again.

I think something's troubling him. It seems like he's not telling me something and it's kinda bugging me. I mean, I'm supposed to be his girlfriend, right? Sometimes I wish he'd just talk to me. I want to be there for him but it's almost as though he doesn't want me to be.

I hate this feeling of helplessness.

But, I have to respect his space, I suppose. I've been the one initializing communication lately, but I don't mind. I don't press into matters, I give him his privacy. If he decides to tell me anything, he will eventually, I'm sure. Until then, I can only do one thing. Wait.

I look at my mobile phone, and I see a picture of him, not smiling, but not frowning, just wondering why my phone was pointed in his general direction. I see that picture every day. I don't want to see just a picture. I want to see him again. I've been dreaming about him for the past few nights, and in those dreams he seemed so close to me, and I felt safe, like how it was when I was with him; but I see him now.. and he seems so distant.

I miss him so much..

"Have we lost our memories together...?"

. // prawninator | 17:15 + ~

|
To whoever you are, wherever you are, I love you. I probably don't know you yet, but when I do, I'll know, and so will you. And you'll love me for who I am, as will I.

You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.

Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.

It's just a matter of time.

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