And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
|
. // bloglinks +
airina
artieee
bjössi
brandon
caterina
chillicrapblog
chris (one-year-gap)
cordelia
dhalif
donald
ember
ewan
ewen
fadil
frances
giggs
guthrie
huiwen
ian
ivy
jane
jay
kenny
labbit
leck koon
leonard
linus
marcus
maria
melissa
melvin
michelle
morganth
nat ho
nat yong pamela
potatobiscuit
pris meimei
rudi
sade
samantha
sidney
siew ling
silver
sharon
stacy
terentius
travis
tom
wenting
zhen ru
. // archives +
02/01/2002 - 03/01/2002
03/01/2002 - 04/01/2002
04/01/2002 - 05/01/2002
05/01/2002 - 06/01/2002
06/01/2002 - 07/01/2002
07/01/2002 - 08/01/2002
08/01/2002 - 09/01/2002
10/01/2002 - 11/01/2002
11/01/2002 - 12/01/2002
12/01/2002 - 01/01/2003
02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003
03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003
04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003
05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003
06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
I was working yesterday, and he happened to come by the shop. I was shocked to see him as he was to see me, working, and in retail, and in a game store. We talked for a little bit, and I realised how all, or almost all of them still kept in contact, went out on gatherings and stuff like that. I never fit in, so I was never asked. And it's not like I didn't try to stay in contact with at least one of them.
I remember the last time I tried to stay in contact with them. Natalie called me asking me for help regarding some art project, and needed to know where to find materials. Naturally, I asked her to head to Art Friends in Bras Basah. I asked for her phone number, just in case she needed a guide, and her response was cold with a hint of what might seem (though unlikely) like she was looking out for my convenience, "No need lah, I'll call you." It's been four years, she never called back.
Months ago, Debbie came into the shop with her boyfriend also from school. The look she gave me when she realized who I was, was so acidic, I couldn't believe she still harbored bad feelings even after so many years. Apparently, she must have. It was sad, I remember being so upset about it, all I could do was just keep quiet and smile. I couldn't say anything for a while.
Even Weijun, and the twins were alot warmer.
I'm quite saddened by this.
All I was, was a fat, nerdy girl in class, ostracized by everyone, another voice in the alto section of the choir, a student who wanted nothing more than to get out of that place as soon as possible. That's all I was. I was nobody's friend, save for one or two (big hugs to Weiyi) from my batch, and a couple more from two batches after me.
I never belonged to any cliqué in school, never really had any friends, and it only bothered me once I left, as I felt alone, I had no one to talk to, I had to try and socialize all over again from the very beginning. It was difficult for me as I never really had trouble keeping to myself, and going out of my way to make friends was a challenge. But I grew out of that.
Now, I only have a small circle of friends whom I try to meet up with on a regular basis, when my workload allows. I don't mind, I'm happy. I've grown to like people, honestly. I've grown to like talking and socializing, but I'll only open up to people close to me. But as to my old classmates, nothing can change what they think about me.
Maybe I should even bother going to their gatherings. Maybe all they did on these gatherings were to talk trash about me behind my back. But really, I don't care. I'm a stronger girl now, even if they wanted to talk trash in my face and think I wouldn't retaliate, they're in for it.
Maybe my ostracization was a good thing.
. // prawninator | 21:36 + ~ |
You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.
Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.
It's just a matter of time.
. // links | misc +
- poorgamergirl auction
- email me
- [shop] wear your dice
- [shop] the poor gamer girl
- idm website
- idm forums
- halloween photos
The Poor Gamer Girl Fund
:D
We could use any help we can get, but you are not obliged to.
:)
