B

B

Zhou Pei Lin





And I find it kinda funny

I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had





B
Yin Yang

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Monday, August 21, 2006

I guess I haven't been perfectly honest.

It's happened for quite some time already, but I didn't know how to tell Ryan, seeing his previous reaction with someone we both know, in regards to the same situation. I honestly couldn't bring myself to tell him, fearing his reaction. Let's just say that I wouldn't want to incur his wrath. *wink*

I never posted anything about it in regards to this before, because I wanted to tell him first. It's sorta like seeking approval, though people keep telling me that I don't need approval from him. But I still want his opinion, even if I might change my mind, he's still someone special to me, you know what I mean? Not romantically or anything, don't get me wrong. I'm actually very happy that I've long gotten over him and we're back to being friends again.

Well, the big news is, I have gotten engaged. To Karl. I haven't told many people about him yet, though now I want to shout it from the mountaintops. To tell you the truth, he is the most amazing guy I have ever met. He doesn't have much, but honestly speaking, I really don't care. People who really know me know that I'm not as materialistic as most girls are anyway.

But he.. he's really something. He treats me so well even though we both have nothing. I remember getting upset at Chris because he spitefully mentioned how much he spent on me, and that Karl could never afford to pamper me like he does. But it really does not matter to me all that much.

See, it was never about the money in the first place. Sure, Chris did take me places, pay for this, pay for that (and my airfare), but when I'm with Karl, I feel safe and grounded, even if the financial future is a little bleak. It's the way we 'click'. I've honestly never felt as comfortable as I have with him. His little quirks, the things he leaves behind for me when he leaves for work (chocolate orange GO!) before I wake up, the way he smiles, his natural laughter. We talk about everything, and laugh at almost everything too. It's just so.. comfortable.

We don't talk as much as we did when I was unemployed and could live life in his timezone, but he still makes the effort to call me at 1pm my time every afternoon to see how I'm doing at work, or just to tell me that he loves me. Likewise, I make the effort to call him before I go to bed, to tell him that I love him, and he even takes the initiative to ask me about my day, and he never feigns interest.

It's these little two minute conversations that help keep us going each day, and I'm grateful that he understands the situation we are in. I feel that I have finally found the right one, and so does he.

Growing old doesn't sound so scary anymore... because we'll be doing it together.

/end corncheese

. // prawninator | 01:18 + ~

|
To whoever you are, wherever you are, I love you. I probably don't know you yet, but when I do, I'll know, and so will you. And you'll love me for who I am, as will I.

You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.

Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.

It's just a matter of time.

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