And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
|
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. // prawninator | 18:35 + ~ I'll be working at the E-Games booth at SITEX from tomorrow (25th Nov) through to Sunday (28th Nov). Feel free to come by and relieve me of stress. I swear I'll be forever grateful. Maybe buy me a 1.5 liter bottle of Coke, Sprite, whatever. None of us would be able to leave the booth as we're desperately shorthanded for this event.
Right now, I should crash on my bed and die.
I still have to wake up at 0630... and it isn't easy when your mind's always on someth-- someone else. I'm still thinking about him. I'm still longing for him. I don't know where he is or what he's doing... I just hope he's fine. I just hope everything's fine.
Anyway...
To anyone concerned...
Happy Thanksgiving.
. // prawninator | 23:57 + ~ I don't know where he is
I don't know what he's doing
I don't know where we're going
I don't know anything.
*sighs* I'm seriously beginning to wonder where this relationship is going. I don't want to think this way, mind you. It's paranoia, and I don't want to have that feeling in me. I know I'm supposed to go where my heart is... follow what makes me happy, that kinda thing. But right now, I don't know what exactly would make me happy.
I haven't seen him in close to half a year.
Do I think the flames are dying?
No, but the candle is indeed getting shorter.
Who makes me happy, and why?
He makes me happy. All the time. I become ecstatic when I receive an email from him. Not to mention the phonecalls. I miss being with him.
Where are you?
. // prawninator | 23:22 + ~
I just realised how my older brother died.
Thalassaemia.
A condition I might have as well.
*sigh*
. // prawninator | 10:46 + ~ Some might know that I have been playing the keyboards, guitar and been the backup vocals of a band for quite some time. We already had two gigs together, one at IMM and the other at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Though they were short, they were extremely fun and quite the experience. Nothing beats making music with your friends, trust me. It's such an emotionally and spiritually satisfying feeling.
But I'm no longer in a band.
Apparently, the lead guitarist had reshuffled the band lineup, removing my brother, Weixin and myself from the list, instead, bringing on Christopher Ong and Joe from One Year Gap. So fine. I had been removed. What pissed me off is why I knew nothing about it, until my brother heard it from someone, who heard it from a friend of his, who heard from my (ex) drummer, who of course, knew what was going on.
I asked Jireh about it, and he told me he reshuffled, sorry sorry etc, and that my brother and I were great and everything. Of course I just said nevermind, shit happens and stuff like that. Inside, I was screaming. I mean, couldn't he have the basic courtesy to just TELL ME about it?!
I'm very, VERY upset.
Imperfections had become a part of me in some way, playing together all the time, all gathering at the Wong's or Leng Ann for practices and jamming. They had become like family to me, and getting removed isn't doing me a lot of good. It just reminds me that I have one more reason for my work ruining my life. Besides, I feel... useless. As though I was used for a while and replaced. Like a sanitary napkin or something.
Some people also don't know how much each performance actually means to me either. I really appreciate those who actually DID come down to catch me play instead of just coming in after the performance, or leaving before I played (you know who you are). Even THOSE I appreciate, for just being there. Now that I don't have a band, it just makes me feel even worse. Now that I have no one to play with...
Whatever.
Forget it.
If you've never seen/heard me play... well.. too bad.
It's not that I don't want to move on in the music scene. I'll never feel as comfortable with another group as I did with these guys anymore, this I know. Don't tell me "You wouldn't know because you haven't tried" or bullshit like that. For one, I've tried playing other bands, and it didn't work out at all, nor did I feel as comfortable as I did with Imperfections. So I won't be playing in a band anymore. Unless Imperfections wants me back.
I'd gladly pick up the keys, the axe and the microphone again.
. // prawninator | 01:34 + ~ You fucking black* Bangladeshi son of a bitch...
If I ever see you again, I'll fucking strangle the fucking life out of your fucking lungs for publicly humiliating and insulting me during the fucking roadshow. You will wish you had never been fucking born, fucker.
Watch it.
You better fucking watch it.
*racism not intended, only meant for that one particular arsewipe.
. // prawninator | 01:14 + ~ I'm gonna miss the roadshow. It was just so... alive. And the DJs and Emcees were all friendly; even the models! But I mean, it doesn't help that my booth was just in front of the back... so every now and then I'd slip behind to talk to them.
I admit, it was fun while it lasted.
I'm gonna have problems re-adjusting to my usual schedule back at work, I mean, the music, the lights, and the fact that I only had to sell ONE game. Gonna miss it all. I got "saboh-ed" by the emcee twice those three days. Making me dance on stage. I mean, he knew I sprained my ankle! ARGH. I swore I could have murdered him. Well... maybe not.
But he did give me a terribly painful shoulder massage.
I swear it still aches.
All in all the roadshow went fine. My feet and arms are still aching. Calvin (my colleague who was assigned to the roadshow with me) and I managed to sell almost all the stock that was given to us. Whee. Priced at S$12.90, it's a STEAL! Only two pieces were left by the end of the three-day roadshow. Hehe.
On another note:
On Thursday night I had gone out with Tanvir and Sean (Louisianian) to SLS and Newton food center. After that, I had gone out with Sean to Excalibur where we had a couple of beers, then to the Dubliner's where we had a couple more. We spent the night talking and talking about everything.
Flashback:
Prior to this, he had just strolled into the shop a few months ago. We talked quite a bit, but he left Singapore quite abruptly; he didn't even say goodbye. Tanvir and I just wondered when he had gone back, and left it at that.
Back to present:
I was working the 3 - midnight shift, so the moment I got nearer to the shop, I saw Tanvir talking to a man that just somehow seemed familiar. Tanvir waved, and then Sean turned around and grinned. Honestly, I was surprised. The minute I stepped into the shop, I didn't even bother putting my stuff down; I went straight up to him and punched him lightly on the arm saying, "I thought you left!" He grinned and said, "I did, and I came back!"
So anyway, we were talking throughout the night. The next morning I had to go down to the roadshow. I crashed in his hotel room that night as we had been out till very late (and I didn't want to wake my family), but nothing happened, honest. He was really sweet though, he helped set the alarm for 8am so I could get to the roadshow on time.
In the morning we just went about our usual business, talked a little, and I went to work. I didn't see him again until tonight. He sent me an offline Yahoo message saying he was leaving Singapore on Monday, so I replied by saying that he'd better at least say goodbye this time; and he did.
Gave him a hug before he went on his way.
Now I'm beginning to miss the guy. Not like how I miss Ryan, of course. But he was good company while it lasted, and he'll always be a good friend. Hope he visits again soon.
Anyway, I need to head to bed. Even if I have a holiday tomorrow, I don't care. I've been working my ass off the past three days and I need a rest, so I get Monday and Tuesday off. Whee.
And Ryan, if you're reading this, email me.
Please.
. // prawninator | 23:58 + ~ It's been ages since I last tapped my words in this god-forsaken blog of mine. I just don't have the time, and even if I did, I don't know what to write about, mostly. Nobody reads this stuff but me anyway, so it doesn't really matter.
Well first of all I just received news that Samantha landed herself an assistant photographer position in an international modelling agency. Congratulations, girl. You're living proof that dreams do come true.
Another is that tomorrow is going to be one terribly busy day.
Both Halo 2 and Need for Speed Underground 2 (NFSU2) are being released tomorrow. In fact, there's a launch party (right now as I'm typing this) for Halo 2 at Funan Center. Don't ask me about it though, I wouldn't be here typing if I had gone down.
Speaking about NFSU2. I was taking a cab to work the other day, and boy, this driver can suuuure drive. He was winding around the roads as though he was a pro rally racer! Weaving in and out of traffic, getting me to my destination in the shortest period of time possible. And he had the windows wound down because he was smoking earlier, so by the time I reached Cineleisure, my hair was like a lion's mane.
But hey, the look worked for me.
I'll be at Hello Singtel (next to Heeren) on Friday and Saturday for a roadshow so if anybody wants to, feel free to drop by. I haven't had my briefing about what would be going on yet, but I'll post it when I do. Most probably it'll be for the Vital Sign launch. After all, being a Massive Multiplayer Online First Person Shooter (MMOFPS), it is probably the first of its kind and hopefully people would be more receptive to it than they are now.
But honestly, paying a monthly fee to frag and get fragged doesn't work for me; Why pay when I can play games like Unreal Tournament and Half-Life Deathmatch for free? Besides, free games that turn into Pay-To-Play don't really work out that well. Look what happened to Tactical Commanders. NexonAsia had to close down, and the game was released in GERMANY instead.
Shit happens.
Ryan won best/most creative Halloween costume on his ship.
And of all things, he dressed up as a PIRATE. I mean, he's in the Navy, for crying out loud. The last thing someone would dress up as is a pirate, right? WRONG! Ryan's costume makes pirates look timid in comparison. I mean, seriously.
Don't you think so?
That's a lot of shoe polish...
He's going home soon too.
I'm just glad he is. He might not be able to come visit me for a long, LONG time... but at least I know he's safe. I miss him of course, but being in a long-distance relationship requires a lot of patience, determination, and trust. But we're in this together.
Well.
It's gonna be a long day ahead.
. // prawninator | 23:56 + ~ So it's November the first.
Five more days.
And I'll be dead.
Why? I have a graduation project to complete.
And at the rate I'm going, I'll still have nothing on Friday. Which means I'll be totally dead. Screwed. Done for. A goner. I mean, seriously. With this much crap happening to my computer, I don't see how I'm going to be able to complete everything by then. I still have pages to design, work to do and tabulation.
I'd appreciate if someone good in econs could help me though.
... Worse come to worse, I'll pay you.
... Or something.
... Help....
. // prawninator | 22:56 + ~
You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.
Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.
It's just a matter of time.
. // links | misc +
- poorgamergirl auction
- email me
- [shop] wear your dice
- [shop] the poor gamer girl
- idm website
- idm forums
- halloween photos
The Poor Gamer Girl Fund
:D
We could use any help we can get, but you are not obliged to.
:)
