Zhou Pei Lin

And I find it kinda funny

I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had

Yin Yang

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chris (one-year-gap)
leck koon
nat ho
nat yong
pris meimei
siew ling
zhen ru

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Saturday, October 29, 2005

A few days after the jump on Monday, Orchard Cineleisure seems awfully quiet. Everyone walking past that area where he flung himself over keeps on looking down to where he had landed. Even the security guard told me how eerie it feels to be working late at night. It just has a sombre feeling to it knowing that someone had died jumping off from that very spot.

I don't know what or how it happened. All I know was that there wasn't really a full length chase which ended with him in the basement. I know for sure they had been talking to him; they being the plainclothes or off-duty cops or whatever. And they had been talking to him for almost 20 minutes before the deceased made a break for it. But its because of this time lapse, and the reports in the newspapers, that I'm beginning to wonder.

Are they trying to cover up for something?

Whatever, it's none of my business and I really want to get that scene out of my head. It's not really a nice feeling to know that someone was alive and able to speak just some minutes before you saw him dead, trust me. It's eerie. Haunting, almost.

I feel more comfortable now talking about it. After all, I didn't know the man, nor do I know why or how it happened. That, and the fact that everyone keeps telling me to take care, and telling me how sorry they felt that I had to witness something like that. I've had Shaun, Cutedwogy and Eddax come in yesterday too. Everyone else was like, "So did you see it? Did you see the body?" like it had any form of entertainment value.

Either way, I just want to get it out of my head.

Life has to go on, right? Business has to go on. But once in a while someone will walk past and look down at the spot where the man had fallen. And I feel almost sorry for the man.

In other news, I still can't beat Ouendan.

. // prawninator | 01:21 + ~

Monday, October 24, 2005

I don't know what happened this evening.

Little did I know that the man I had walked past on my way back to the shop from the bathroom would end up four storeys down in the basement, blood streaming out of his head/face/somewhere, just about fifteen minutes or more later (time has no meaning when you're working in retail).

I was walking to the bathroom when I saw some men talking to a non-local and when I came back they were shoving him to the ground, telling him to sit down, making him sit down. One of them asked him pretty loudly, "Why you run? Huh? If you don't know anything why you run?" I went back to the shop shrugging it off. Just another day where plainclothes policemen detain another guy. Didn't think much about it until about later...

I heard some men shouting, and some women screaming a split second later, and then a loud "THUD" on the floor below in the basement (I work on the third storey, there's an empty space right through to B1) at the mall where I work. I looked out and saw the same man I had seen at the corridor, his face in the blood. I saw him twitch a little bit and then lie still. I'm... traumatised. I've never in my life seen so much blood.

I've never in my life seen a man's lifeforce pour out of him like that. It's burned into my mind, him lying face down in between the Korean store and the Mobile Phone shop. Twitching.. Blood streaming out.. Celia saw the blood and started crying.. I had to hug her for a little bit to calm her. She couldn't eat. Neither could I, but I had to sustain myself a little bit and stuff.. but I couldn't finish my food. Michael, who's seen a number of accidents in his time (being part of the Traffic Police force) told me that the man probably wouldn't make it past tonight.

I was shaking from then all the way until I got home.

And I'm still shaking from the experience. Thank goodness I'm off work tomorrow.. Maybe I should occupy myself with a little World of Warcraft. Which reminds me. I just hit 55. Started an in-game company called Lyth Smyth's, seeing as she's a blacksmith and all that.. I just need to get my mind off things. My heart's still thumping.

... the blood..

. // prawninator | 23:47 + ~

Saturday, October 22, 2005

I know gamers around the world are upset and angry about the situation with Jack Thompson. He's the gaming society's public enemy number ONE. Okay, so some Singaporeans still don't know about Jack Thompson. Do a search on the Miami Attorney, and see the ire he's sparked in everyone. Not to mention the ire we've sparked in him. I'd provide links but typing URLs is a bitch.

To follow up, consider reading Penny Arcade, VG Cats and Ctrl+Alt+Del. Don't miss out on the news articles they have as well; they provide some pretty neat snippets about Jack himself.

But there's one thing we as gamers should NOT do.

And that's to send him death threats, or to imply in ANY WAY, any form of harm and/or harrassment. That will only fire him up more, and cause him to continue his campaign against games and gamers in general. Remember, in HIS eyes, we are idiots who are not as intellectually advanced as he is. Where many of us actually are, there are some who actually have college degrees, and some are lawyers themselves, thank you.

Don't pull us down because you want to "get back" at Jack Thompson. One thing is for sure, IT IS NOT WORTH IT. I know some of you may want to kill him, but won't that just prove his point even further? Stop with the threats or the degratory terms. So he's old, but he IS an attorney and enjoys a certain degree of legal immunity.

He mentioned that we have lost this war; Apparently, if we had really lost the war, he wouldn't still be fighting. Which means somewhere, we're doing something useful. But adding oil to Jack Thompson's fire won't help OUR cause one bit.

Remember, it's not about you as an individual gamer.
It's about ALL OF US as gamers.

Let's work together now, shall we?

The counter-offensive to Jack Thompson has already begun and is on the roll (you can find many more links on Jack Thompson and the current "Holy War" in the article). On the Penny-Arcade forums, the community members have started a movement to contact the FBA, or Florida Bar Association, with regards to Mr. Thompson's conduct in the last few weeks. Their contact number ([+1]866-352-0707) has been inundated with calls all day, receiving constant complaints about Jack Thompson. I encourage everyone else to do the same. (thanks to Imran)

But with my sky-rocketing phonebill, I've passed on the phonecalls, but instead sent proper people (basically the Annenberg Political Fact Check) a letter via email regarding Jack Thompson's apparent (and rather obvious) idiocy. Now all of you can chip in too, if you feel obliged or angered enough.

Since games and gaming is my life, literally, I'm extremely angered and upset with him, I'm taking this situation seriously. He's taking things too far and he has to be stopped. I don't expect anyone else to participate in this movement, honestly, but if all of us as gamers stand up against him as a mature community instead of the "omgwtf die you mofo DIE" sort, we might actually win this "war" he said we "lost".

After all, isn't teamwork part of games?

(For more information on Jack Thompson and politics in gaming, visit gamepolitics)

. // prawninator | 01:56 + ~

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

WTS [Ironforge Auction House Discount Card] x2 PST!


Halloween Fever has hit World of Warcraft.




I was running around Azeroth with Aaron/Vincent/Korienya, my new SMS buddy and long time RP friend from MD, when we found Jack O' Lanterns scattered around Menethil Keep and Harbor... and everywhere outside the Deepwater Tavern. We took no notice of the random ninjas and sudden surge of pirates running around, and proceeded to Auberdine.

It was only on the ship to Auberdine did we find out about the Innkeepers tricking or treating adventurers. I had the time of my life after shooting myself out of the cannon at the Darkmoon Faire, bobbing for apples, and getting treated or tricked by the innkeepers. My stash so far consists of twelve lollipops, five bobbing apples, and one Flimsy Male Dwarf Mask.

I haven't been tricked thus far, but Kori received a Hallowed Wand - Wisp and then got tricked an hour later, and was turned into a Leper Gnome. Hehehe. Some of the other BBR guys got turned into bats and whatnot. It was so funny, everyone was so excited. I've seen female gnome masks, female tauren masks, male troll masks and lots of other random stuff. When Kori and I got to Ironforge, it was a hoot. Everyone was dancing in their new Halloween costumes and duds.

And then when the excitement dies down, I'll trample around Ironforge in my Flimsy Male Dwarf Mask and yell, "GIMME ALE OR GIMME DEATH!" at the top of my... Lythania's voice.

On another note, remember that old assignment I was supposed to have done, and only started a day before submission? I just received the results and I'm proud to say, I GOT A B!! Many thanks to Chris, Brandon, and the others who supplied me with ideas. Sadly, I couldn't write a reference sheet to save my life, unless I linked an MSN/YIM/Phone conversation. Oh well. I should have written a written word of thanks and acknowledgement to the above parties.

But here's my written acknowledgement.


I might pass this module after all, finally get my advanced diploma certificate, and apply to a university or community college in Arizona. At least I'll be going somewhere with my life, right? Yeah, things are definitely looking up.

*hugs her Moogle plushie she has christened Mogette*

. // prawninator | 01:28 + ~

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Just for Ian:

You wanted to know where to get the Cloudy Wolf Earring right. You want the chiong one or the ai zai one? Chiong one cheaper, but not by much lah. But the chiong one got posts for pierced ears. The swee swee real one only got clip-on (sibei sian, lose already sim tiah).

Anyway, click HERE for the earring. Also check out the Aeris Theme Music Box. It's a whopping USD700, but it's damn chio.

And if the earring comes in a pair, sell me one side ok? Hahaha. I go remove the clip and put posts. Can't stand clip earrings, make my earlobes hurt. Oh yeah, lemme know when you get it also, I WANNA SEEEEEE.


. // prawninator | 02:26 + ~


That was the first thing he said to me over the phone while I was at work this afternoon. I wonder what sort of looks he would have gotten if his colleagues had heard him saying that. Hehehe. I almost burst out laughing, honestly. Even if I was in pain.

I had dislocated my left knee years ago, and it decided to act up last night, causing me to wince and toss around in pain, afraid I'd wake the family if I had screamed out loud, which I really felt like doing. So I limped outside and took a cab in the dead of night while they were all asleep and checked myself in at outpatient. Only got home at around 5am, where I promptly fell asleep.

Other than the fact that my leg gave way on me yesterday night and all through today, I'm quite happy. Sure, I may have been in tears last night and some time this afternoon when I accidentally nudged my knee hard against the counter, and was limping throughout the day. But I'm still quite happy.


Because this came in the mail.



It's small, just about 12" tall, and it's not poseable at all... but I was hugging it everywhere I went in the house before I had to go to work... and even when I had to, I took special time to place it next to the little Alaskan husky I received in the mail earlier this year.


. // prawninator | 02:23 + ~

Thursday, October 13, 2005


Ryan leaves for sea later today. Not a couple of days ago like we both thought. But he's already either a) blocked me or b) turned his computer off or c) just went offline so he can spend some time with Crystal. Crystal is a new girl he's seeing, and he seems very taken in by her, so I'm happy for him. :)

But if he blocked me, I'll be quite sad.

*shrugs* I mean, I might have a lot of people on my MSN list, or in my mobile phone book, or wherever. But I don't talk to most of them on a daily basis. I never talk to them on a daily basis. Only Ryan. And I'm going to miss him quite badly.

But it's all right.

I just hope he's happy with Crystal, or whatever he's doing. I know he's happy being with Crystal. I mean, that's the ultimate isn't it? Being happy for the person you loved and can't be with, when he's found someone else? I'm not about to stifle his love life; he says that I am scared to be alone, but I'm pretty sure he is too, though he seems like he's putting on a tough front. *shrugs* That's just my interpretation of his actions.

On another note, and a totally different subject whatsoever, I just "bought" a copy of Nintendogs: Miniature Daschund. To replace the one I had accidentally lost while packing up after Comex 2005 in September. But, that copy is not mine. I had taken a copy from the shop while they decided on the price.

So, I'm Nintendog-less.

Oh. And Guohan has left the company. Which left a mark, really. All of us miss him. His gold hair, his incessant Hokkien blabbering, especially when his friend Desmond is around. No more partner-in-crime. I had been working with him since December, and he was great to work with. I just hope when/if I leave, I'd leave a similar mark. Hehe, that way I know I impact people.

In a good way dammit!

This is too early for me to be blogging.. Hope Ryan keeps in contact with me from the ship. He'll be gone for a month, and again in March. I thought he was going on cruise in January, and he never even told me that on the pretext that "it wasn't important". I didn't know what to say.


Gotta get ready for work.

. // prawninator | 10:33 + ~

I loved you.

You meant everything to me. Everything. But yet you don't trust me anymore. I don't understand why, and you won't tell me at all, because you say it doesn't matter. But it matters to me. I know you don't trust me anymore, Ryan. No matter what you can tell me.

I keep defending you. Unholy kept saying things about you, but I defend you. Because I thought you weren't like that. I KNOW you aren't like that. Unholy calls me stupid, but I accept it because I know you aren't that asshat he makes you out to be. I'm not writing this to anger you by the way, or to disappoint you or whatever, but this IS my journal, and I'm just voicing out my feelings.

I didn't jump back into a relationship with Chris just because he happened to be there waiting and such, just because he's familiar and all that. I did NOT. You can ask him if you want; I actually told him that I didn't want to get into a relationship with him for fear I was on the rebound.

I thought to myself for a couple of weeks; I wasn't with you anymore at that time. We had slipped into Silence Mode during that time. I asked around for advice. Including my mother. I asked myself what I wanted, before I decided to give Chris and myself another shot. Much like how I readily accepted you back after your 'fateful' phone conversation. And that was after much deliberation.

You don't know me as well as you think you do, you don't know my heart, and you really didn't have to slander it the way you did tonight. I'm not a player. Ask anyone who knows me; they can ALL vouch for me. I'm not trying to prove anything; I'm just telling you that a person might not be all you expect them to be; and all that you think they are might not be the truth. I try to be honest with you, and this is what I get?

You hurt me tonight, Ryan. I'll have to tell you that, and I'm sure you know, too. And I don't know where else to write this than here. I'm not sure if you would even open my emails anymore. As I said, I'm not trying to prove anything here.

Now, all I want is for this friendship to work. After all, it did for two years. Why would it fail now? I just don't see the logic.. Just please. PLEASE be honest with me. I need answers. But you aren't giving me any... and it's driving me crazy.

I have great memories with you; don't sour them.


. // prawninator | 01:46 + ~

Sunday, October 09, 2005

I just realised how bitter cab drivers are towards traffic police. I mean, seriously. Yesterday night on my way home, I had a choice of three, and I mean THREE white Merc cabs. I had to take the one with the chattiest driver.

And he was chatty only to himself. For the entire trip home I wished he'd just shut up, considering I had a pretty tiring day and I really did not need more unwanted/unnecessary noise. But he kept on ranting about how cab drivers are wronged by the traffic police, how badly they have it and such. How many of his friends had their licenses suspended and their ricebowl taken from them.

I was so annoyed, but I kept quiet.

It kinda reminded me of a little comic strip George Nonis of "Hello Chok Tong, Goodbye Kuan Yew" fame drew, showing a cab passenger with a newspaper in hand, telling the driver what a good idea it was to shut them up, unless the passenger first initiated conversation. How I wish that driver could've worn that mask too.

Was supposed to go out with Eric and Ian after work yesterday too, but didn't. Ian had to attend Omar's birthday party thing at Holland V, which I had to unfortunately pass due to work, and Eric went out with Yosh. Eric almost forgot to pay for his gaming, that ass. And he still owes me $10 too. Grr.

So I went home and did nothing. Technically, I was waiting for the phone to ring. But I chatted with Ryan for a little bit. Turned out his little situation didn't go the way he had imagined it to. To which I sympathise. At least he's moving on, and that's a good thing. We still don't talk too much, but that's all right. We're still on friendly terms and that's just as good at this point of time. I'd really like that closeness back, but that brief period of time that we dated just... kinda destroyed it all.

Oh well.

Things change, people change, situations change. It's inevitable. And dragging along will just delay its effects, potentially causing further damage. I shouldn't have clung on to Ryan when he left me the first time, I guess. But it doesn't matter now, doesn't help matters by crying over spilt milk.

Ryan's going out to sea on the 12th. That's Tuesday. I had errands to run on Tuesday as it's my off-day, but I've canceled them to be able to talk to Ryan before he leaves. I'll honestly miss him, miss the random nudges he'd give me, and just goofing off with him. He'll only be back late November. Wonder if we'd stay in touch throughout that time or not.

Well, phone's ringing.

. // prawninator | 23:35 + ~

Saturday, October 08, 2005


Compassion: You are there to share your sympathy
with others. People would consider you
affectionate and caring, and someone to look up to.

Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla

I know someone who'd like this quiz.

. // prawninator | 02:07 + ~

Friday, October 07, 2005

Part of me died...

... when you went away.

I'm sad that we don't talk anymore. I know we're not together anymore, and I know you don't have feelings for me, but you're still my friend, right? I always see you online, but everytime I look back at my MSN window, your handle changes; you were there but you don't talk to me.

I keep silent, hoping that one day you will talk to me again, like we did two years ago. Like when you'd wake me up every morning with MSN nudges. Like when we'd just listen to music together. Like when I'd watch you play games, or when I played them with you.

I miss playing games with you.

But we've drifted so far apart now that it hurts. Every day I type out little messages on my mobile phone to send to you. But I don't send them. Because I know I shouldn't. I'm not hanging or clinging on to you. I just want things to be as they were.

But yeah, sometimes you don't get what you want.

I miss you Ryan, a lot. Hope to hear from you soon.

. // prawninator | 02:11 + ~

Monday, October 03, 2005



?????? ??????. ???. ?????. ??????????, ?????????????????. ????????????. ????? ???????.

???, ???????????. ???????. ??????, ????


. // prawninator | 23:34 + ~

Sunday, October 02, 2005

I feel extremely disappointed.

I'm quite sick and tired of his double standards. It's okay if he does certain things to me, but when I do the same back to him, he throws a hissy fit. Or when I don't do the things he wants me to do, or if I don't do it his way, he gets pissed. To me, that is really immature.

Even Jn agrees. I couldn't believe the extent at which he was supporting me, until I wrote to him about it, and he responded. But he should've told me his views earlier. Could've saved me a lot of trouble, really. I value his views, as he's older, and definitely wiser.

But enough about that. I can't stay disappointed forever, can I? Besides. I've got (not necessarily) better things to do. Like my assignment. It's due Tuesday and I need to put down 2500 words. I wonder if they're strict on plagarism. Otherwise, it's ctrl+c, ctrl+v for me. Of course, I'm not so dumb to blindy copy and paste stuff. I'm of a higher standard than that. Hehehe.

I'm royally screwed, aren't I?

I knew working full-time and studying part-time was going to be a bad idea! But what to do.. I've completed everything except this. I might as well go through with it, right? Like Linus said yesterday, it's my ticket out of my current job, out of my miserable, low-paid life.

Until then, it's back to slavery.

. // prawninator | 13:19 + ~

To whoever you are, wherever you are, I love you. I probably don't know you yet, but when I do, I'll know, and so will you. And you'll love me for who I am, as will I.

You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.

Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.

It's just a matter of time.

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