And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
|
. // bloglinks +
airina
artieee
bjössi
brandon
caterina
chillicrapblog
chris (one-year-gap)
cordelia
dhalif
donald
ember
ewan
ewen
fadil
frances
giggs
guthrie
huiwen
ian
ivy
jane
jay
kenny
labbit
leck koon
leonard
linus
marcus
maria
melissa
melvin
michelle
morganth
nat ho
nat yong pamela
potatobiscuit
pris meimei
rudi
sade
samantha
sidney
siew ling
silver
sharon
stacy
terentius
travis
tom
wenting
zhen ru
. // archives +
02/01/2002 - 03/01/2002
03/01/2002 - 04/01/2002
04/01/2002 - 05/01/2002
05/01/2002 - 06/01/2002
06/01/2002 - 07/01/2002
07/01/2002 - 08/01/2002
08/01/2002 - 09/01/2002
10/01/2002 - 11/01/2002
11/01/2002 - 12/01/2002
12/01/2002 - 01/01/2003
02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003
03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003
04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003
05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003
06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
Brutality, Vyana and Dodobird along with myself won Rockband at the GCA Rockband competition on Friday! WOO! Funny thing is, I wasn't exactly prepared for it. I love singing, as most people know, so I got VGD to form up a "band" with me and we tried out for it. While waiting, I gave Brut a call and he took a cab down. So I entered again. I didn't get through with VGD, but Brut, Vyana and I got through with Paranoid.
I didn't expect for us to be in the finals, but we were, and we did Enter Sandman. Apparently the judges told us that if we played on expert, or if we showed some showmanship, we would score bonus points. Apparently we didn't score a lot, but we did a lot of showmanship, and won. And since Brut already has Rockband, I get it. OMG!
And we'll be on MTV News T-T
Still, ROCKBAND!
Now to find someone with an X360...
Edit: Also, FUCK the TF2 community in Singapore, SRSLY.
. // prawninator | 17:44 + ~ So I don't really have a job anymore. I'm so tired lately, and I've been just going back and forth from the game store getting materials for more dice stuff. Some of you might know, I've been working on dice jewelry. It's not simple to make, but it's something I like to do, to keep me occupied.
While I was still in the States, I managed to purchase a little hobby drill, a Dremel tool. It's a great little rotary tool, with attachments for you to sand, buff, drill stuff, or even screw stuff at varying speeds. I got myself a cordless, battery-powered hand tool with a 1/32" collet and bit. However, due to my oversight, the charger for the cordless model I had was badly damaged and rendered unusable.
Karl however, sent me another drill AND a voltage converter. How sweet! So I was back to drilling dice again. And now that I had a new(er) camera, I could take better (hopefully) pictures of them.
I don't incorporate beads, as the colors of the dice are already bright and each die is unique, so attention shouldn't be distracted from them.
With standard size dice, I can make both earrings and pendants, and even mobile phone charms. If you desire to have some, please let me know which kind of die (d4, d6, d8, d10, d10 percentile, d12, d20) you would like and what color you prefer. I will then set out to try and find and purchase said dice and hope you like the color. Earrings are $15 a pair (lots of work go into it, believe me, and are pricey with TWO dice instead of a single die) and are attached to non-precious metal ear hooks. If you would like .925 silver hooks, that would be an additional charge of $1. Necklaces are currently $12. Cellphone charms are currently $6. All prices are in Singapore Dollars and does not include S&H.
My current set of mini-dice comes in a set of 7 (d4, d6, d8, d10, d10 percentile, d12, d20, typical dice set) and under no circumstances will I split the set. The whole set goes for $17, and are a beautiful pearlised navy color with gold numbers. Mini-dice are attached to .925 silver ear hooks.
The jewelry may look large at roughly 16mm, but honestly, when they dangle off your earlobe, it's actually not heavy at all, and look quite stunning. I highly recommend the range of Borealis, or the Aqua Cirrus. The mini ones are much smaller, at about 10 - 12mm.
Here are some pictures for your perusal. The rest of the pictures are on my DeviantArt page. :)
Pearl Navy w/Gold 7pc earring set on silver
Sky Blue Borealis d20 necklace
Aqua Cirrus d10 earrings
Red Borealis d8 cell phone charm
And because I mentioned the Easter Pink previously:
Easter Pink d6 earrings
What do you guys think?
. // prawninator | 21:19 + ~ I never wanted to post about Reuben. I thought I didn't need to, that I could just remember him the way he was. Some of you might know, some of you might know, but I knew Reuben Kee, one of the unfortunate victims in the dragon boat incident in Cambodia last November. I did not know about the incident until a few days or a week later when I chanced upon the article on the MSN website. Even then, I wasn't sure if it was the same Reuben I knew (I couldn't have known, there could've been more Reuben Kee's).
It was only after I saw my primary school friend Jon's blog did I realise that the Reuben who perished in foreign waters was the same Reuben I knew from Nanyang Polytechnic while I was there. The one thing that struck me on Jon's blog was the fact that he mentioned how Reuben was an exceptional pianist, and was very gifted at arranging music, especially game soundtracks. I remember discussing arrangement possibilities for one of his works a few times on occasion.
I remember the last thing I spoke to him about was to stay in contact as I had quit NYP, and for him to send me some of his arrangements, which he promised he'd do so. Truth is, we never stayed in contact as my computer had crashed and I never bothered to install ICQ again. I never got to hear his arrangements after I left. I felt guilty and thought about him once in a while, a talented individual who was one of my first friends after secondary school due to our like interests.
Fast-forward until today. I was looking for some music to play at work when a friend Daron mentioned on MSN that he was listening to an "ocremix", subsequently posting the link for me, saying it had loads of videogame remixes and the like. I was pleased with the website, and listened to song after song after game song. However, tonight as I was surfing around for Chrono Trigger music, I saw Reuben's name as the author of one of the tunes, which also happened to be one of my favorite Chrono Trigger songs. I was shocked. Again, I didn't think it was the same one, until I clicked his website link and there it was, plain as day, was:
(9 July 1984 - 23 Nov 2007)
When I listened to the song I found, I cried.
He had sent me his music after all.
. // prawninator | 02:42 + ~ I don't honestly care if this is public.
I lost a friend just this last week.
It has been one of the worst experiences in my life, to lose a friend. No, my friend did not die. She rejected the friendship on her own. I don't entirely blame her, but I don't entirely agree with her actions either. People who know me know that I am fiercely loyal to my friends. However, if one of my friends do something against the other, I tend to take the side of the victimized friend. And for good reason.
In this case, my friend Han and my friend Siyue had a falling out. Apparently Han had done something that Siyue didn't like, and how did Siyue respond? By clamming up. What I mean by clamming up, is that she gave Han the silent treatment, despite Han's attempts to re-establish contact and to talk the situation out.
Weird part is, Siyue kept talking to Han and her mutual friends, me included. I was upset, because I could tell Han was upset too. Now, Han and Siyue have known each other for more than a decade, and I've known Han for about nine years compared to Siyue whom I've known for three. For them to have such a falling out made me angry, so I casually asked Siyue one day as to why she wasn't talking to Han anymore. I guess it was a bad move on my part, but we all deserve to know, I feel.
Han feels that Siyue is turning her friends against her. Siyue feels that Han is turning her friends against her. I was confused. Neither of them were doing such things, but in my opinion, at least Han talks about her problems and shares them, to find a viable resolution for the situation. However, Siyue doesn't. Instead, she tells me, "Life is just less stressful having to not deal with those negative emotions" and "...my ultimate goal is to avoid all conflict with anyone" and that "I'm not even vaguely prepared to deal with my emotions towards her, and.. I'm not going to", and "I'm just trying to distance myself from the problem...", also that "I have the right to distance myself from drama" which she is DIRECTLY involved in.
I mean, what?
Trying to reason with her was impossible. I mean, seriously. To avoid conflict is to run away from your problems. Running away from what? I don't know! None of us do because Siyue's keeping quiet! I've learned this a long time ago. You CANNOT AVOID CONFLICT. You have to face it, to DEAL WITH IT, which is obviously what she was not doing. Honestly though, to keep silent about it WILL NOT HELP. Even the yousay/shesay thing helps MORE than silence itself because at least both sides will be heard. At least both sides can TRY to bloody understand what the hell is going on.
She hurt more people than she realized.
When I tried to tell her that, I received a heated reply with innumerable "fuck you's", with the same repeated thing. The whole I want to distance myself from the problem, I just want to forget about the whole thing, I'm just not going to deal with it but walk away. She also told me, "in all honesty, no one is holding a gun to your head telling you to be friends with me. It's a goddamn choice, and if you're regretting that choice, then by all means unfriend me. With friends like you've been in the past couple of days, I don't need enemies."
How would you respond to that?
I also received this, "You've proven yourself a BAD friend to me. A GOOD friend to Han, but a bad friend to me." followed by "I'm not going to let you make me feel negatively biased toward Han anymore than you already have, (so) I'm fixing that little problem of annoying frustration that being a friend to me is. Have a nice life." before proceeding to unfriend and block me from every networking site and IM we have.
The reason why I'm so worked up over this is because years ago, I was in the same situation. Only I was on the receiving end, I was in Han's shoes. Back then, my friend Shan told me that she had been checking her ex-boyfriend's email. She never told me why, she just told me that she was. I was torn. Between keeping her secret or telling her ex-boyfriend, who had been my friend for a much longer time than her. I even considered bringing this to the police, considering what she did was a criminal breach of privacy. But I did not.
Instead, I told her ex-boyfriend who confronted her about it. She in turn confronted me about it, and then turned tail and ignored me, instead going behind my back and telling all our mutual friends that I was a liar and that I couldn't be trusted. How are you to react to that? Needless to say, I ended that friendship then because she did something wrong, but instead of owning up to it, she defended herself by painting my picture black.
I didn't want Han and Siyue to go down that same path.
Sad to say though, it's already begun it's downward spiral, I have lost a friend. Still, I believe only good friends can be honest to one another. I'd rather be brutally honest to how I feel than to lie and sugarcoat everything I say. What sort of friend would I be if I were to lie all the time? Well, it's her loss, not mine.
/sigh
ps: By the way, people who aren't Chinese with self-given "Chinese" names are just pretentious in my book. Like they are trying to compensate for the lack of personality.
. // prawninator | 06:09 + ~ I just realised I didn't post about my Valentine's Day this year.
I was alone again, just so you know.
Doesn't affect me though; Karl took me out for sushi at Fujiyama Restaurant the week before Valentine's Day. It was the first date we've had in a long while, otherwise preferring the company of other people and/or not going out at all. But the sushi was good, as was the conversation, as was the company. :)
He also gave me a present for Valentine's Day, and he was so excited to give it to me, too! He was shuffling about in his room going, "I don't know if I should give you your Valentine's Day gift now or later... what the heck, open it." with that big grin on his face. And now that I have a new camera, I can shows you it. When I lifted it out of the box, I was surprised.
It was a lavender jade pendant on a silver chain. Notice the middle of the pendant? It says 福, or prosperity in Chinese. Now, my Chinese name 佩琳 means "to adorn with jade" when translated, and when I asked him why he bought the pendant for me, he went, "Because one, I know what your Chinese name means, and that means 'to adorn with jade', two, I know you absolutely adore purple, and three, lavender is your favorite scent."
I cried. It was such a perfect gift.
. // prawninator | 23:34 + ~ Stacy is now in the UK, after a lot of drama and tears shed in regards to the London-Heathrow airport situation. At first she was offloaded, and later on they couldn't find her a seat. Finally she got a seat for Friday, her birthday.
She called me on Monday and we talked for about 20 minutes. You could tell she misses us just by listening to the way (and speed) at which she speaks. She was also uber excited about falling snow, and actually bugged James about it. Same thing I did with Karl the first time I saw snow! Funny thing was only Emily stood outside in the snow with me that first time. :3
I still miss her lots, it's been almost a week since she flew off. She's usually the one that organizes sheesha meet-ups, and now that she's in the UK and not here anymore, it's getting tougher to get the girls together and go. Even when I Was out with Cheryl, Aric and Teeny yesterday (Happy Birthday, Skypig!), it felt different because Stacy wasn't there. So what did we do? Hehehe.
Each of us dialled her UK number, said "CHU!"* and hung up. So Aric started first. The moment Stacy answered, he went, "Chu chu CHU!" and hung up. We were speculating that MAYBE the number we dialled wasn't hers. It was my turn, and I called her. I went, "Chuuuuuuuu~~" before hanging up. At about the same time, Aric got a text message saying, "You all wanna die ah?!" from Stacy. We just laughed our asses off, and Cheryl called. This time she went, "Chu?" but didn't hang up, so we all got the chance to speak to her over the speakerphone.
Well, we did say we would do it. ;)
* The reason why we said Chu is because... well... watch.
. // prawninator | 15:48 + ~ I got into a small debate with one of my boss' clients' eldest son regarding his position on the upcoming American Presidential elections. As we are both connected to the United States in one way or another (I'm married to an American citizen while he used to study there), the debate was pretty interesting.
He stated his points and I stated mine, and we both discussed why we think the candidate we support is more suitable for the hotseat. It got to the point where we both didn’t want to continue as we didn't know much more about each others' preferred party.
So I decided to visit both their websites. I noticed something about both of them and the direction they seem to be headed at first glance, and when I put that through to him, he did not have an argument to put forward, but began to rethink about his choice of candidate.
Let's remove all preconceptions for the moment and just think. Do not put names in the blanks that are going to follow this paragraph. Just tell me what you think. Also note that the following was found as the candidates' website headers. Can you guess which is whose?
_______________ for President
_______________ for America
Who would you really pick to lead your country?
. // prawninator | 15:09 + ~ Stacy is leaving for the UK tomorrow evening, for probably more than a year. So Cheryl, Aric and I went to Orchard Cineleisure for dinner where we ate at Suki Sushi (DO NOT EAT THERE. Bad food, worse service) and then went for karaoke (pronounced kah-RAH-oh-kay, for the benefit of my dear foreign buddies) at K-Box.
Before we did so however, we took lots of neoprints together and decorating them with pink and blue colored shitpiles and devil horns etc, and also spent some money on gashapon machines, or what we affectionately call "dongdong" machines (it imitates the sound of the coins going into the machine, get your mind out of the gutter!). I actually had to run around B1 looking for someone to change our money into $1 coins. Really had lots of fun either way. We're all a little sad that she's leaving, but I guess we go where our paths take us.
At the gashapon machines, I managed to nab a Shy Guy and a Red Mushroom! I was hoping to get the Question Block, but no such luck this time. Might try again this weekend or something, when I go meet up with Fara and Wee Lin over at PI.
Phat Lewtz!
Taken at K-Box.
What a fun country we live in.
Our karaoke session only stopped at 1am, but we kept singing 'till 1:30, because no one came to stop us either way. My voice is gone from laughing at Aric singing "She Bangs". I swear I almost peed myself from laughing so hard.
You know, I'm really going to miss her.
No one else sings English karaoke songs with me. :'(
. // prawninator | 03:27 + ~ [rant]
Honestly, I hate taking public transport, such as the bus or the MRT. Public transport in the USA (doesn't matter which state you're in) is kinda creepy. Public transport here is downright annoying. Not because of the inconvenience (because it actually is very convenient), but because of the other commuters.
Seriously, little teenage girls. Not all of us wants to listen to the latest cover of Rihanna's Umbrella on your mobile phone, nor do we want to listen to the rambled mispronunciations of Zhou Jie Lun so-called singing. Also, not all of us simply adore the Black Eyed Peas or Fergie. Why? Are earpieces out of your budget? Stop buying Roxy handbags to use as schoolbags then, and give the rest of us some peace! Oh, I'm not stopping there. I am not racist, but I have noticed that Indian Nationals do the exact same thing as Singaporean teenage girls, by blasting their banghra music on their mobile phones, or the latest Bollywood tune. Please be more considerate to other commuters.
That aside, there are also the "zi lian kuang" girls, or the narcissistic girls who check themselves out in almost every shiny surface, like the MRT doors. If you want to check yourself out, go buy a bloody mirror, don't stand in my way or I'll just elbow my way out, and I'm not kidding. To those two girls standing at the doorway trying to look "cute" to your own reflections in the MRT door, I am NOT sorry I had to push my way out to get onto the platform.
And people wonder why I take cabs all the time.
[/rant]
. // prawninator | 01:01 + ~ A friend of mine suffered a loss today. Her father had just passed on and she was still in a pretty big daze when I found out, and when I called almost 7 hours later. My sympathies and my heart go out to her and her family and I'm keeping them in my prayers, too. It's at this point of time that all I can (and want to) do is to envelop her in a big hug.
After writing a testimonial for Linus to aid his immigration process, I broke down before emailing it to him. It hurt to think about it. Basically what I wrote in the testimonial was four years of a close friendship crammed into half an A4 page of text. It wasn't easy, I wanted to write so much more, but as advised, I kept it short and concise.
So, Linus is leaving for Belgium some time in July. I would honestly hate to see him go, but we all have to go seek our own destination one way or another. Earlier on we were discussing how to keep in contact with crappy timezone differences. Jane, Dongli and Wenting in Singapore, Linus in Europe and me further back in the United States.
Just thinking about him leaving and my eventual departure made me sad, too. He said that it will help us be constantly connected, no matter where we are. When I mentioned that he was making me cry, he said, "That's why instead of crying, I'm thinking of solutions." So okay, his solutions are making me cry.
I can't bear to think of how much I'll miss Linus. Linus, Jane, Dongli, Ting and Mich have made up my more stable circle of friends (the others are gamers, go figure), and we've hung out almost every other week or more for the past four years or so. It's not something you can just leave and let go. I know which ones of us will cry when Linus finally flies to Belgium, and I know I'm going to be one of them.
I'm just wondering if people will feel the same way about me leaving, too.
That selfish thought aside, I'm also wondering if our friendship would be the same across the continents. It won't be exactly the same of course, with a few of us not physically there to participate. It's painful to consider. We'd have entirely different things to talk about, and although it might be a refreshing change for a while, sometimes what you need is familiarity.
... anyway, I'll think about this later.
. // prawninator | 23:54 + ~
You might be living in my neighbourhood, or some other town or country far away. I don't know. And neither do you, at this point.
Wherever you are, I know I'll find you... if you don't find me first.
It's just a matter of time.
. // links | misc +
- poorgamergirl auction
- email me
- [shop] wear your dice
- [shop] the poor gamer girl
- idm website
- idm forums
- halloween photos
The Poor Gamer Girl Fund
:D
We could use any help we can get, but you are not obliged to.
:)
